Neanderpundit

After a big plateful of Jambalayah last night, I slept, and dreamed a dream wherin a large sow and her offspring, colored like holsteins, were rooting through the remains of last years garden, (unproductively of course), and I called the local gendarmes to have them handcuffed and hauled away.

After Barney had tucked the momma hog’s head tenderly into the squad car, I sat on the retaining wall and enjoyed a coffee and a few fresh tomatos, for the garden had been cleverly moved south of the retaining wall to keep the deer (and, apparently, errant hogs) at bay. I rested my feet on a footstool of red leather, and a piglet, probably a 40- pounder, obviously the runt of the same litter for it bore the same gateway markings, started rooting through my green peppers. I reached in my pocket, pulled out a Babel fish, and jammed the little slithery bastartd into the hogs ear, then told it to go get my Kerner. It returned, laid it’s head on my red leather footstool, and I dispatched it with haste. I grabbed a couple of slices of bacon straightaway, some tomatos, and wandered in the house to make a BLT. I hung the skin over my bed and made a keychain out of the curly little tail.

Gotta stop eating spicy crap just before bed.

Mr Porretto speaks about borebloging, about being a fool.

hell, i been a fool most of my life.

The planet needs fools. Fools may be the most essential state of the human condition. Imagine King Lear without the fool- it has no coherence.

Nothing pleases me more than making people laugh. And I’m unconcerned if they’re laughing at me; everyone’s life has some laughable moments, I just bring mine out in the open for all to see. Dignity, my friends, is highly overrated. I dance like a fucktard too, but it has never stopped me.

I’m a big, ugly guy. A remarkable number of highly attractive women have chosen to spend time in my presence, owing more to my sense of humor than to any other thing. Hell, the Ogwife chose to marry me, though she has to crawl between the sheets with this hairy behemoth each night.

If I’m making you laugh, and you read one of my more serious pieces, and it makes you think, I’ve accomplished more than all the finest philosophers on earth, because people will ignore a fine thinker out of hand, but couch a salient fact in a joke, and everyone will remember it. If it’s a GOOD joke, they’ll remember it all their lives.

I’ll never have the readership nor the skills of the Curmudgeon, I’ll never be anything but a fool.

Fools are important too.