Neanderpundit

Nice work, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome home.

Inspired by this post from Acidman.

I don’t smoke anymore. I didn’t quit for health reasons, I quit because I’m cheap. I dislike smoke, but not enough to be a pain in the ass to anyone about it, if it gets too smoky for me, I leave the room.

In laboratories all over the world, there are fume and smoke collection devices that are used around chemical and biological hazards. Some of these chemicals, the teeniest whiff is instantly fatal. The devices used to contain these fumes are neither complex nor difficult to manufacture,( A fan. A filter) and considering that tobacco smoke usually isn’t instantly lethal, simple devices could be manufactured that would remove the smoke and eliminate all hazard from everywhere they are placed. they could be built into table tops like Jenn-Aire stovetops. THis is not brain surgery. So, why not do that? because that’s not what everyone else is doing.

What a bunch of total fucktards.

After a big plateful of Jambalayah last night, I slept, and dreamed a dream wherin a large sow and her offspring, colored like holsteins, were rooting through the remains of last years garden, (unproductively of course), and I called the local gendarmes to have them handcuffed and hauled away.

After Barney had tucked the momma hog’s head tenderly into the squad car, I sat on the retaining wall and enjoyed a coffee and a few fresh tomatos, for the garden had been cleverly moved south of the retaining wall to keep the deer (and, apparently, errant hogs) at bay. I rested my feet on a footstool of red leather, and a piglet, probably a 40- pounder, obviously the runt of the same litter for it bore the same gateway markings, started rooting through my green peppers. I reached in my pocket, pulled out a Babel fish, and jammed the little slithery bastartd into the hogs ear, then told it to go get my Kerner. It returned, laid it’s head on my red leather footstool, and I dispatched it with haste. I grabbed a couple of slices of bacon straightaway, some tomatos, and wandered in the house to make a BLT. I hung the skin over my bed and made a keychain out of the curly little tail.

Gotta stop eating spicy crap just before bed.