Neanderpundit

Cinci is full of chains, and when you ask the girl at the desk of your hotel, she either guides you to a chain place or to a pizza place, nine times out of ten.

And tonight was no exception. So i went off in search of TGI Applebees, and ended up at Ando. Had a Sushi appetizer while I waited and ate Beef Teryaki. When you’re confined to eating a little, you want the food to be good, and this was. Right next door was a place called the Brown Dog Cafe which looked great, and made me want to try it next.

Across the street from the hotel is a muni airport, lot full of cessnas and mooneys and beeches. Air show coming up. Hundreds of folks in the hotel.

Last night I saw a couple coming back with several packages of Skyline Chili.

For anyone who has never had Cincinnati’s finest cuisine, let me explain it to you.

Skyline chili is leftovers. it’s “chili mac”.

No, it doesn’t taste bad. hell, it’s OK, if you like that sort of thing, but to me, Chili entails a solely meat dish. And it should fry the hairs off your afterburner as it exits in either gaseous state or as a solid. Maybe my major problem with it is the name, after all. When I get a bowl of Chili I expect it to be chili, and not a bunch of stuff that was left in the fridge after a party.

Now imagine that flight, today.
“hey,Frank, wasn’t that Skyline chili great last night?”
“yep, Honey, it was OK. Do you have my kneeboard over there? Ah, thanks”
“Are we gonna fly over the… Hey, what the hell was that about, Frank?”
“it just snuck out. I can’t help it.”
“Jesus, open a window”
“You can’t open the windows above 90 mph, you know that”
“Good god, Frank, now I have one coming”
“OH MY GOD! Dammit, woman, what the hell does your digestive system DO with food?”
“Hey, “I can’t help it” remember?”
“mmfh”(muffles face with handkerchief) “Good God, that’s foul”

And later:
“The bodies of a man and woman were discovered on top of a water tower today by someone in a hot-air baloon. Nobody knows how they got there but the man was wearing a kneeboard and it is suspected he was a private pilot. In possibly related news, a Cessna 183 crashed into an empty lot in Norwood. Fire department personnel have not been able to approach the wreckage to discover if there were any survivors because of the smell. A Haz-Mat team was called but they were busy containing a situation close to the river.”

I mean, it started out ok, and all, but ended up being the reason for a lot of pain reliever sales.

So far today I have been on fire, bled profusely, and had my toes run over by a golf cart.

At least i have a nice hotel room with good interwebbiness. Of course when I turned on the TV, Chuck schumer (dickhead, planet earth) greeted me with his typical lack of reason to continue to waste oxygen, so I had to go outside and walk around until the desire to crush had been driven from my mind.

I’m in a hotel on the evening of my 14th wedding anniversary. I wish I were home. I miss you, love of my life. And a monday without you at the end of it is doubly horrid.