Well deserved asswhippings
When I was a kid, I remember seeing Il Trovatore on some public channel, and they had the anvils wired electrically or some such thing so that when the guys hit the anvil sparks flew out. I thought it was the coolest damned thing there was.
I got the idea, hey, why couldn’t I do the same kind of thing? Turns out I could
Remember Stallion Caps? the little round self adhesive caps that certain kinds of capguns used? well, I had a big handful of them, and i loved using them. Beat ’em with rocks, lay ’em on your skin and hit ’em with a ruler, I thought they rocked. SO I thought nothing of it, when, in the middle of a roof construction job I’d put a whole bag of them on random roofing nails.
Dad was re-roofing the house, see, and since he had a day job, he was doing it a little at a time, at night. Turned out to be a big pain in the ass, but what the hell. Anyway, one night, as it’s getting darker, he asks me for more nails. I climb up the ladder with the box, whch he puts in his apron, and immeditatley grabs one of the “modified” nails. He takes one swing, the cap pops, a little yellowish flame jets out from under the hammer, and he grabs me by the straps of my bib overalls, and smacks my ass in midair.
hey, i thought it was cool.
Dad, busy with the roof, was less than amused. Imagine that.
“and he grabs me by the straps of my bib overalls, and smacks my ass in midair.”
Bwah! I can picture it perfectly.
That one still makes me laugh out loud.
I can imagine the speed in which your dad snagged you.
We had Greenie Stickem Caps that went on the back end of these little cartridge-bullet assemblies that went into these little Mattel toy Winchester rifles (imagine selling those things today?), and the hammer popped the cap and forced the cartridge-bullet assembly into the slightly narrower barrel where a spring in the cartridge part forced the bullet part down the barrel. Couldn’t hit a damn thing, but it was great fun for a ten year old, until the little grey plastic bullet parts gradually disappeared (At the time, I thought I gradually lost them, but now I wonder if MOM (mistress of me) gradually disposed of them.
Never thought of the nail business, though; That would have been cool, especially in 7th grade woodshop. Unlike metal shop we didn’t have a forge to put a bullet into for pyrotechnics and harassment of the teacher. But then we (I) didn’t have bullets, either.
I was about 10 when I decided it would be cool to hit a whole roll of 100 paper caps with a 1 pound hammer. The powder burns healed up pretty quick but my ears still ring to this day.
This story is just as good the second time around…