Man Camp
Steve H keeps talking about Man Camp, and I keep thinking how much I want to build one.
Now, being the building nerd that I am, it occurs to me to build a place lke Maurice J. Minnifield’s little cabin in Alaska, but that defies the purpose of Man Camp. No, i think it should be a place where it’s almost impossible to get without four wheel drive, and it should be four or five old airstream campers in a circle. The center of the circle sold have an iron roofed pavillion with a couple of old oil-drum BBQ grills and smokers. the trailers should have crappers but only so you can piss in the night without going outside. There should be deer, and you should be able to hunt them in season. There should be gun racks in all the campers, and everyone at Man Camp should be armed, and there should be a target where all members can shoot from a seated position. While eating dinner. With their hands. Gun cleaning suplies should be in the same cabinet as the spices. Salt should be kept in quart mason jars with nail holes in the top.
In fact, if you want to see what a PERFECT Man Camp looks like, go see “Hatari”. One of John Wayne’s best movies, because it includes lots of dangerous animal wrangling (actually done by Wayne and the other actors) target shooting, driving fast in 4wd vehicles, and a bigass house with lots of sleeping rooms and manly furniture. oh, and Elsa Martinelli- who tries to force her way into the ultimate Man Camp and is forced to take the men just as they are, and live with it.
What would you have at your man camp?
26 comments Og | Uncategorized
Tents. The outfitters tent is best, with a small stove. I spent an entire trip in the
-20C range in one. Warm as toast. Half the fun is setting up a good hunting camp.
A bottle of Glendronach for after the guns are cleaned and put away. A 40 pounder of Gibsons for extended stays. ATV’s. No cell phones, PDA’s or disruptive devices.
No bloody propane either. I have seen the convenient christmas tree manifolds off the bottle that let you run your stove, lantern and heater off on bottle…and it totally blows. Far more entertaining is the tried and true old Coleman lanterns and white gas stoves.
And the damned diet stays at home with the fan damily. Bacon and eggs for breakfast every day, steak for supper. Anyone that complains about cholestorol or calories dies. Painfully.
A good fishing spot needs to be within striking distance too.
Fishing- damn, how could I forget fishing. Good point, Jim.
This is not about rugedness, so I’m gonna discount the no propane deal- I want effortless comfort.
I agree with the “no propane” rule. Part of the pleasure of camping is the smell of wood smoke. Can we call that a Man Law?
M
What is all this talk of SINGLE bottles of hooch?
A Man Camp needs an adequate supply, minimum fith per day per two men, with a 100% reserve, just in case.
Roger on the wood heat, and I would use a wood range for cooking. I would also require that the most junior member in camp be the firewood supply guy, and that his future in the group be dependent upon how he does.
Roger the tents, but if it is a permanent camp, I suggest tent-houses, where the foundation, floor and side walls are permanent, and the roof canvas, to be taken down and stored off-site during the off-season. I passed many pleasant fishing weekends in tent houses at Paulina Lake in Oregon. they rented for the very reasonable sum of $4/night, and had open box-spring beds which were left there when the place got snowed in every winter. The tent-roof and mattresses were stored under cover in the camp storage building.
Food (trout) was fried on the boxwood heater wood stove, and dishes were washed at the wash house down the lane. Crapping was done at crappers next to the wash house. Each tent-house came stocked with about 2 nights of firewood, including kindling and newspaper, and a Jim Beam bottle of kerosene to get it going with, but the guests were expected to keep the cabin woodpile filled from the central supply pile, and make sure it was full when they checked out.
Basic, but adequate. I’ve always hankered to set up a camp just like it.
A fire ring the size of Des Moines is key. With a ceaseless supply of wooden pallets the throw on when the mood strikes.
Og,
Since you mentioned Maurice, I thought you’d be interested to see more of the Log Mansion they used in the show.
http://www.loghomebuilders.org/photosofskipshouse2.htm
The owner runs a 2 day log home building course, just outside of Seattle.
Mmmm. Sounds hawt.
The only vehicles allowed at man camp should be either horses, Jeeps, or real 4wd trucks.
No mamma’s SUVs could be allowed, or those chicken shit little 4 wheeler things.
Twists of tabacco hanging from the walls.
A well pump. Hand driven, of course.
We’d need a big ass firepit in the middle as well, beside the oil drums.
We’d need cards and checkers for entertainment.
No scopes allowed.
A good fishing spot is indeed mandatory.
But the no propane rule? I’ll take exception to that one. I would rather have propane lamps in the Airstreams than electricity.
You all are missing my point.
No work.
The airstreams are there for comfort. The propane heaters are so you don’t have to do anything to stay warm- if you want. If you want, build a fire. If not turn on the heat. Women make you work. The whole Man Camp concept is to make a maintenance resistant environment. Pitch a tent? take it down? store it offsite? are you NUTS? I want to get AWAY from work, not generate MORE.
Gotta have something to watch “The Game/Race.” We don’t need a huge flat panel, just something to keep up with the scores/passes and see the important replays/crashes.
I’m with ya on the propane, Og. This is about screwing off in low maintenance comfort, eating and drinking yourself silly and enjoying manly entertainment.
jeffro, you hit the nail on the head. Power and propane, sattelite TV and a decent sized TV cabinet.
No tv, at all. Afraid I’d have to bow out if somebody brought a tv.
Well, like the propane, the TV us there if you want to use it. I never watch the damned thing anyway, other than discovery channel and history channel.
A separate area for TV would be a definite plus, for those who can’t live without one- maybe a remote “TV camper”
?…..ack….sput……HACKAFFFFFF!!!!!
Dammitandblast! What next? Primered pyrodex pellet powered smokepoles?
Maybe we should just book you boys into a scuzzy motel?
Jim: No. Rimfire and centerfire only.
Miss Martinelli will do nicely, thank you. (My idea of roughing it is having to stay at a Holiday Inn because the Hilton is full…)
And that was one FUNNY movie.
Og, I’m gonna have to write about this one Monday.
I just have no clue how to without sounding like an animal.
Oh well…
I have to take exception to the Rimfire/centerfire only rule. I can do without the flintlocks, but you should have at least a “beercan” gauge blackpowder mortar (if invited, I’m sure Contagion would bring his) and a six pounder loaded with grape shot, just for shits and giggles.
Powder magazine with a minimum of 50lbs.
And at least three people who can sing/play musical instruments while intoxicated are a must on the guest list.
Grau, I’m just yanking Jim’s chain.
You cannot come into Man Camp with any kind of feelings, ego or self respect either. You will be mocked. You will be subject to rude jokes at your expense. Good cheer and sportsmanship in the face of such abuse will be mandatory!
:)
Now you’re talking Jim.
Man, so many of you want so many RULES. What, are ya gonna tell me I gotta have corncobs to wipe my ass – that toilet paper is far to cushy for a man camp?
The Swedish Bikini Team would be welcome, but they would be required to serve the beers and pull fingers as requested.
Are you guys going to craft Man Laws while y’all are out there, too?
I swear. MEN.
The man laws are already written. Have been for a million years.
I think I have manlove for Jim.
Not that kind ya freaks!