How about trying not to be an ass?
OK, I’ve put up with this shit for pretty long. Far too long, if you ask me. Yeah, I know, nobody asked me, but fuck it anyway.
First: When you’re done shopping, take the cart you used to wheel your single bottle of coke out to your fucktardmobile, and ROLL IT TO A CART GARAGE. There are THIRTY OF THEM in the parking lot at Wally World, and you PARKED NEXT TO ONE. All you had to do was to roll the cart aroud to the other side of YOUR VEHICLE, and PUSH IT IN. No, you had to leave it in the only available parking place within 300 yards of the door.
Don’t bother me, becuase I park far away from all you assholes anyway, but there just MIGHT be someone who needs to USE that handicapped space, you asshelmet.
Second: Okay, rectum breath: During construction projects, there are often places where an on-ramp merges abruptly. Most of the time this is a pain in the ass, but you could see the oncoming traffic for two miles. You knew EXACTLY where you could merge. You knew that if you kept speed, you could get between the semi and the car, and you had five car lengths to do so. Instead, you chose to STOP AND WAIT FOR ALL TRAFFIC TO CEASE BEFORE MERGING.
Not only that, but you chose to stop at the BOTTOM OF THE EXIT RAMP WHERE NOBODY COULD SEE YOU UNTIL THEY WERE RIGHT BEHIND YOU, DOING 60 SO THEY COULD MERGE PROPERLY. Maybe you heard the horn? maybe you sensed me sending the mental message “THE ACCELERATOR IS ON THE RIGHT, FUCKTARD!!” Maybe you felt the nephiew clenching his asscheeks so tight it took him two hours to remove the seat cover from his nether regions. All I know is, for a few moments there, we were all just about to die. If you don’t understand the simple concepts of merging, you MIGHT want to GET OFF THE FUCKING ROAD.
That’s all I can take for now. Where’d I put that Cozaar?
10 comments Og | Uncategorized
You must be visiting The DC/Maryland/Virginia beltway area. That’s how they (apparently teach all of their drivers to merge here… AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!
I am so irritated by the drivers who come down a normal ramp and pay NO attention to the traffic already on the highway, assuming that you’ll move over for them. If you’re driving a car AND if there’s no one next to you, you can easily move over; not so if there’s a semi-rig in the left lane. This is especially irritating to me when we’re travelling with our p/u and trailer. It’s about as manuverable as a semi and I hate it when those “mergers” pay no attention, forcing me to either move over or hit the brakes. Worst part about moving over is that the “mergers” will sit there in the RH lane for a while, THEN accelerate. By that time, several cars have caught up with us, THEY start passing on the right, I can’t get back to where I want to (and should) be, and they’re all cussing at ME.
I love a good rant!
The Penna Turnpike is the same way – you don’t glide in and merge, you stop at the end of the ramp, then floor it when you get a chance.
My unbearable idiots are the ones who hang in the far left lane, then 200 feet from the exit they wake up, realize “Holy S**t” and cut across the whole swath to make it.
Forget paying attention. Forget doing a U at the next exit (people do this assholian maneuver in the cities with an exit every mile, not on the Toll Road where you understand that the next exit is 20 miles away). Forget that the gumbint spent $80,000 on advance notice signs that tell you that Cicero Ave. is coming up in 3, 2, 1, 3/4, 1/2, and 1/4 miles.
In the meantime, I have to stomp my brakes and hope the weightless back end of the car doesn’t want to swing around in the rain.
I could bitch about shitty drivers for days.
Maybe I’ll do it at Mancamp.
Please. He was taking a very valuable call on his cell phone.
Kill them all. Since I don’t currently drive, my favorite is people who turn the corner even though I am crossing the street in the pedestrian crosswalk and I have the ^%&*&(! light.
Ohhhhh I am so with you on this one. More than you know. Between making store visits and drivin’ I90, yeah, I know exactly what you are saying!
What endfl and jdunmyer said.
I have never seen more clueless, oblivious drivers than here in the DPR of MD. I don’t know why the state even wastes money on stop signs, since none of these dimbulbs pays one iota of attention to the signs anyway.
I too have been the victim, while driving my Ram 4×4 pulling a trailer, of idiots who expect me to get out of the way of a 2400# sports car merging on the highway. Excuse me, assbreath, in just about every locality I’ve ever driven in the merging traffic is supposed to yield to the highway traffic, not vice versa. It amazes me how many people pretend not to see a 4700# bright blue 4×4…if you’re that frikken blind, GET OFF THE ROAD!
Your rant? Made me hot.
Nicely done.
Grumpy: I hear the reverse is true in the entire state of California (mergers have right of way there, they say), so maybe they’re just California expats/refugees?