Over here, Kim posts about manhood. Over here, so does his wife.

Now, to those who have never had the incredible pleasure of meeting the DuToits in person, I have to explain: the coherence of the two epistles is neither accidental nor contrived, but just their nature.

Mr and Mrs Du Toit are what my parents were; individual halves of a whole. Each strong and self sufficient, but together, more than the sum of their parts- their thoughts and opinions dovetail with one another, and when you see them together it’s like watching a finely tuned juggling act- each picks what the other drops, and their actions compliment one another.

That being said, let me expound on something that Kim and his wife touch on:

Men have specific roles in life, and those of us who are still men know what they are. Gentlemen also have patterns of acceptible behavior, and Kim discusses them to a point- and then stops. He keeps his intimacy with hs mate exactly what it is- intimate. And that is as it should be.

What chaps my ass is that more people don’t spread that behavior around. I’m constantly amazed at what dogs men are, and I don’t tolerate that kind of behavior in my presense, and let that be known. here are a few of those “rules” as taught me by dad. These may seem kind of arcane, but they have served me in good stead these many years.

A man never touches a woman, at any time, in any way, unless he has her express permission to do so.
A handshake is an invitation to shake hands and no more.
A man should never lay his bare hand on a woman’s bare skin unless directed to do so by her. He may take her arm or offer his clothed arm for her to take.
Handshakes are for friends. Hugs are for aunts. Kisses on the cheek for mom. Your lips should touch your mate’s lips, and nobody else’s.
Women who expect or demand intimacy beyond the above are usually trouble.
Physical intimacy is reserved for those with whom you have made a commitment, and none other.
At no time should a Man be even inclined to initiate physical intimacy/relations, and should let the woman do so exclusively.

I’ve caught some flack from people because I’m unlikely to touch a woman I’ve just met. I’m always hesitant about it. My wife, on the other hand, is mine to touch, and i do so endlessly. The two high points of my day are curling up behind her, and going to sleep, and waking up curled behind her. I can instantly recognize her by the texture of her skin. It never occurs to me to consider touching another woman, and I do not. One person I met accused me of “hiding behind my luggage” when I met her in an airport, another local blogger horrified me by sitting on my lap. And I know she felt she knew me well enough to do so, and she neither meant harm nor accomplished any, she just had no idea of my nature to begin with. And I felt really bad that I was so uncomfortable with the situation, I just am hardwired like that.

There need to be more men. I will not stand idly by and let my daughter become involved with someone who doesn’t allow her the respect I expect. I believe firmly in the punch in the nose as a way to educate people in the error of their ways.

Thousands of more people read Kim or Connie than I, and I’m glad. Maybe one of them is the father of a man my daughter will someday meet. I hope he heeds Kim’s words.