Can’t pay attention
The Tejas trip drained me, and the end of the hospital bills and other crap have left me temporarily tapped out, just when I need to renew my damned CCW. And Ogfest is coming like a thick cock up Jim Massey’s poop chute.
I guess it could be worse, I could have a ton of credit card debt. Better to be broke than in the hole. Just annoying.
I’ll be sure to start an auction in which OgFest attendees can offer cash in exchange for watching you perform obscene acts of self-degradation. Anything to help a friend, good sir. As an additional token of my respect, I shall deign to act as auctioneer *and* accept bids that I feel are of an acceptable amount.
Bring cameras, folks. This thing is gonna be epic…
Cameras are a bad idea. First, they tend to self destruct when pointed in my direction. Second, Sean Penn learned paparazzi management from me.
(Best William Shatner Voice)
“Can’t.. redirect.. camera… lens is.. sucked towards… gravitational pull of… giant scrotum…”
Fascinating Captain, it would appear the giant scrotum IS a sentient being … but I AM NOT doing a Vulcan Mind Meld ™ (/Spock)
Fact is, I’m not beyond humiliating myself for cash. I just don’t want for there to be a photographic record of the event.
There’s something about a thick cock up a poopchute that seems very… institutionalized to me.
Just sayin’.
What is it with you people and fat roosters? I swear, sometimes I think you guys are talking about something else all together.