You know, polls being what they are, and fickle as Americans can be, there’s a chance we will have a new President in a little over a week.

For anyone who might wonder, for people who have trouble imagining, here’s a little window into what might be the Kerry presidency.

(Warning: sarcasm, bitter invective, and graphic descriptions of oral sex follow)

Terrorisim will no longer be a war. it will be a law enforcement issue. Kerry has made this very clear. So, when that carbomb takes out the disco where your daughter is partying, or the school your son attends is taken hostage and all the schoolkids are killed, or when the haberdasher’s shop down the street is burned to the ground, kerry will make every effort to find those people, and prosecute them. Oh, some shyster lawyer will make a name for himself getting the most of the terrorists off, but that’s ok. The billions he will take away from the intelligence community will more than pay for their legal defenses. And there will be plenty, because they want to kill us all. hell, everyone knows that, and dammit, they deserve to kill us all. it’s their religion, after all. We need to be sensitive to that.

Your freedoms will be racheted back. Kerry will do everything he can to prevent you from having (insert your personal source of joy here) He’ll tax you more so even if you could do anything you wouldn’t even be able to afford it. It will all be for your own good, of course, because he knows better than you what’s good for you and your children.

If you like to shoot and hunt, he’s with you. Of course, he’ll decide how and where and when and what is good for you to do, because he’s all knowing.

If you like to fly, for instance, he’ll tell you how and where and when you can do it. No, it won’t be like the Bush administration, when they grounded all aircraft until they had at least a handle on security, it will be like the Daley regime, where all choice will be removed. After all, you don’t need to fly. And those planes use far too much gas.

Speaking of gas, if you like to drive an SUV, or a truck, or a van, even if you need to for your job, you’ll need to stop that because it’s just not right. Oh, all the Kerry family will need to keep theirs, because they deserve them. And besides, it’s not like he owns them himself. And with all that extra oil we won’t be uusing driving our Geo Metros around, there’ll be plenty for the Heinz-kerry’s.

If you are deeply spiritual, that’s good too, because John Kerry is a Man of God. No, he’s not a man of God in that he will try to lead a moral country, or try to show the strength of his christian beliefs to try to protect and serve Christian peoples, he’s a man of God in that he’ll show up at a church somewhere once in a while if it can get him a boost in the polls and a photo op. After all, God is not for Reproductive choice, and Kerry is all about reproductive choice, as long as it’s choosing to end the process of reproduction and not prevent it.

If you want to do anything,it’ll be just fine, as long as it’s OK with the Kerrys. Of course, you’re all idiots,scumbags, morons and fools, according to Therayza. You really can’t possibly be smart enough to know what’s good for you, so shut up and deal with it. Besides, you probably never had a real job, like sucking a republican’s dick to get him to leave you his cash in his will. (do you suppose JFK retches every time he kisses her, knowing his mouth is where a republican’s cock has been? Does that make him a republican cocksucker by proxy?)

Not to worry. It’s all gonna be taken care of. JFK and Johnny boy will fix you right up. Day to day life will hardly change at all, at least not in any noticeable way, until one day you wake up in the morning and ralize that Orwells nightmare has come true. Best of luck!

I was going to write a lot more, but I’m frankly so disgusted that I’m gonna go burn the keyboard I typed this on. And then I have to boil my brain in Lysol to remove the thoughts.

Jesus Christ on a crutch, folks, go vote.