I tend not to get all worked up about valentine’s day. There are plenty of good reasons to show the people you love just how much you love them, a created holiday to goad them into it is an annoying sham. If the only way you can get your significant other to pay attention to you is via some bogus holiday, get a new mate.

On the other hand, there are a few million people out there who would like very much to have any damned reason to send a valentine. Or someone to send them one. There are a whole world of people who, for one reason or another, have nobody in their life. I know them, you do too. Under normal circumstances, they’re just fine, but this specific holiday seems to have been created specifically to the purpose of upsetting otherwise normal and stable people.

My mom, for instance. Dad died when he was 57. He had a hard life and he died young. My mom lost him at a time when they should have been enjoying their retirement together, going places, doing things.

Mom has gone on to do those things alone, and with her friends, but certainly, she would probably have preferred not to sleep alone at night. Dad slept behind mom with his hand on her hip every night. I’ve no doubt she misses that.

A couple of my friends, single all their lives, must also hate this day. To reach your forties and be single is not a crime, nor for that matter even a bad idea, for a lot of people, but V day can really be a downer- the day you wonder if you might have been happier/saner/better off paired. To know that you have nobody waiting in the wings for you, to know that the relationships you have had have gone their own way, has to be bad enough without the Hallmark reminder.

IN your life you no doubt know someone who has gone unpaired or has become unpaired. For those people, Valentines day is probably an unwelcome reminder. Use your own judgement, of course, but instead of spending money trying to get laid or trying to cajole your way into some nice presents, think about the people who find this a rough day. Do something, if you can. Don’t do anything, if it’s appropriate. But think of someone besides yourself. And fuck Hallmark and the horse they rode in on.