Having seen all three of these movies, I have a few comments. Well, that was hardly unexpected, was it? Actually, the movies were good. They stuck through to the stories as well as was practical, they gave enough detail to satisfy the middle-earth geek in me, and moved quickly enough to prevent me from having to leave my seat for the bathroom.

Of all the characters in the movie, I guess I must empathise most with Gimli Gloinson. Stocky, tough, good guy to take your back, maybe not the brightest star but posessed of a good moral compass and a tasty axe.

on the other hand, I will say that if I live in Middle Earth, I’d damned sure want to be an elf. Oh, the woodland skills, those would be nice, the immortality, yeah, the treehouses, fine. All that stuff, I can take or leave.

I would want to be an elf because they COMBED THEIR FUCKING HAIR. I mean, how big a fucking deal is it to comb your hair? Couldn’t Aragorn carry the extra weight? Did Boromir’s barber die? You know that efficient hair-care technology existed, because the ELVES were always well-groomed. Hell, some of them had dainty twisty little loopy things in their hair, even during BATTLE, futhuchrissakes. Even when the elves were dirty they looked like they glowed compared to the rest of the folks, at one point Pippin is sitting on the shoulder of an Ent and the ENT looks better groomed. Oh, I’m sure there are plenty of good reasons why they all got dirty and stayed dirty all that time. Me, I like my heroes to smell good and consider an Ace Hard Rubber 5″ pocket comb as important as their sharpening stone.

But that’s probably just me.