Road Rage Revisited.
I have, in the past, ranted and raved about the people that I fight in traffic daily. I used to spend a lot of time screaming at them. In the last two weeks, I have stopped all that. I simply attempt to make their heads explode.
Sometimes I try it simply by concentrating. Sometimes I think of specific things.
“Tree tree goat funnel toothpick! EXPLODE!!!”
Nope.
“Weasel fart milkweed flower petal! EXPLODE”
Nope.
“Pickup fusil oil antidepressant orgasm! EXPLODE!!!”
Nope.
So far, I haven’t had much luck- but man, think of it, if i get the combination correct.
You will share with the rest of us right?
You know, if I would ever get off my butt and make that remote cellphone detonator I was babbling about a few months ago, it would have the same effect in most cases.
I know a simpler method: I get in front of them and go half a mile under the speed limit. Drives them nuts.
Well, you certainly won’t get the proper result combining “antidepressant” and “orgasm”; for many people, those things are mutual exclusive.
I’m looking for “head explosion”. I think “Antidepressant” and “orgasm” ought to be two nearly perfect words to use.
Dad had a fun technique – “rubber-band” them. For the fucktards in the fast lane on cellphones going too slow, get in front of them, and go 1mph faster than them, until they speed up, then 1mph slower, until they realize they’re about to rearend you… possibly augmented by a tap on the brakes… lather, rinse, repeat, usually endlessly (or until the fucktards hang up the phone and start paying attention to traffic).
I just pray they find the ticket they so surely need.