take a dump so long, that it changed consistency, not once but three times, during the course of the same dump? Starting with the hard little gravelly crap that drops in clean lumps that hit the water with a “poit” moving on to long smooth bananna shaped crap that stands in the bowl, the bottom brown and the top turning black in the air? and finally the loose, floating oatmeal dumpthat fills the bowl with lumpy brown pudding?

Nah, me neither.