Og is away, but he asked me to come and fill in for him, and I know exactly what to write about: Og’s favorite tool of all time. The Black & Decker Workmate.

I wish I could tell you how many gushing comments Og has left on my blog, about his love for the Workmate. Here’s a sampling:

“Who needs a TV table when you have a Workmate? Can you name a TV table that can hold a 450-pound side of beef while you take it apart with a Sawzall? Frick no, you can’t. My dream is to enlarge the living room and have six La-Z-Boys around the TV, each with its own Workmate. I’ve already applied for a patent for a Workmate add-on that will lift the Workmate and allow you to eat with your chair fully reclined.”

“Steve, I respect your idea about putting a lift in your garage. But have you ever considered jacking your front wheels up and putting them on two Workmates?”

“Computer table? What kind of pansy uses a computer table? Can you clamp your laptop in a computer table the way you can a Workmate? Thanks to Black & Decker, I know my blogging will not be interrupted if the New Madrid Fault wakes up and shifts my foundation while I’m typing.”

“Steve, I have to question your testosterone levels, as well as those of your whining fruitbag readers. You keep complaining about your gall bladder, but  you refuse to do anything about it. And they give you asinine suggestions, such as, ‘Go to the doctor.’ I was diagnosed with appendicitis yesterday, and instead of prancing over to the hospital like a big fairy, I’m operating on myself with a couple of mirrors and a Fein Multimaster. And of course, I’m propped up on the Workmate. Guess what? I didn’t have to use Betadine. I just swabbed the area with lacquer thinner and lit it with a MAPP gas torch. Now if I could just remember where I put the pneumatic stapler, I could close and get myself back on the Bobcat, which I am using to rearrange my CDs.”

If I have time, I’ll dig up the comments he left about his personal Workmate shrine. You may find them inspiring.