As i sat here
enjoying my corned beef hash omelette, drying off after my shower, I realized that I have a good solid handful of pubic hair about a foot and a half long. Time for some grooming, lord knows.
On the subject of grooming and hygeine:
Guys, keep your shit clean. I’m boggled by the guys I see, the way they treat their junk. If you’ve spent part of your day on a public crapper, dangling your business end in the bowl of a foreign john, with god-knows what bacteria and bullshit living therin, and you expect to take that tool home and get someone interested in it, GET IT CLEAN. I cannot IMAGINE crawling in bed with the Ogwife without a careful scrub of the equipment. Further, I’ve seen guys actually RUB THEIR TOOLS on the EDGE OF THE URINAL to get off the last drops. Never heard of a little shake, motherfucker? I’m told this is peculiar to Arabs. After doing that I’d have to exfoliate the Morel with Lava before I brought it anywhere near a woman.
Anyway. Clean that stuff. Get it clean enough that it disgusts you to touch it unless you wash your hands FIRST.
Thatisall.
(*I cannot IMAGINE crawling in bed with the Ogwife without a careful scrub of the equipment.*)
Dammit Og, you’ve been on fire these days. You’re talking like a true gentleman… about subjects that are near and dear to the hearts of MANY women out there. Talking about things that NO guys wants to talk about.
It also makes you wonder about people who enjoy oral sex. I’ve asked a few of these people if they would clean a toilet with their tongue. When they would say no, I would tell them it would (in most cases) be as clean as them giving Oral sex and could they please clean the various toilets in my buildings (being that I could save wear and tear on purchased equipment).
My… dad… was not a bather. He’d get so bad (after days) my mom would take him by the hand to shower to get him to clean himself (…and sometimes with her help). She was married to him for… about 35 YEARS. If there are other relationships out there (and I am sure there is!) who have problems like this, it’s a small wonder some marriages are as celibate as a monastery. I still can’t figure out how they had seven children.
My stepdad, is totally different as he showers and cleans up BEFORE he goes to bed. He was also born and raised on a farm. Maybe it’s a farmer thing. Go figure.
You’ve definitely scored points with the ladies, Og. It’s a shame, but sometimes we all need Dad to talk to us on these taboo subjects. ;)
Cond, I don’t think the women want to hear any of this- but lord knows, plenty of people come here for it.
If I can add my pet peeve here, it’s the guys who don’t wash their hands after using the mens room. I work in an office building on a secure floor, meaning there’s NO public here. Everyone using the mens room works on this floor or has business here. I see these guys shake the dew off the lily or drop the kids off at the pool and head for the door. I want to tell them NOT to touch the doorknob, if they must exit the mens room kindly do so via the window.
We’re on the fifth floor, why do you ask?
You know what scares the hell out of me where I work (I work for a chemical company that shall remain nameless)?
The chemists that wash their hands BEFORE they piss.
Apparently whatever chemicals are on their hands are too nasty to touch their John Thomases with, but perfectly fine to roam around the building with…
“The chemists that wash their hands BEFORE they piss.”
Jay… I hope they are aware of the fact that the skin on their hands are very similiar to the lining of their digestive tract and that certain medications can be absorbed through their skin.
Scary thought. I hope cancer doesn’t run in their families (ie genetic weaknesses).
Call me crazy but I take two or three baths a year whether I need ’em or not.
Libs… there is only one thing I can say and it is this:
“Oh ho the rattlin’ bog…The bog down in the valley-oh…Oh ho the rattlin’ bog…”
Thanks. Thanks a lot.
Ok, I just read Dick’s post on porn, and now this.
I’m still kinda perplexed.
People who use the excuse, “I shower, and don’t pee on my hands, so why do I have to wash my hands after #1” don’t get it that the unmentionables are stewing away at 99 degrees in the underwear for hours, creating a perfect petri dish. Sitting in whatever dribble is there. And not washing after #2, that’s just plain wrong. I’ll wash my hands, then there’s the door handle to pull to get out of the bathroom.
I’ve known people who bragged that they liked it when their sweethearts came to them after a hard day of sweaty work. Some just like the funk. Wasn’t it Napoleon who told his wife not to bathe when she came to see him at his war campaigns for conjugal visits? Then again, the French, …