While I’ve been otherwise involved
I got a notification from the Chief Dickwad in my town.
Seems they don’t like where I park my van.
I have a turnaround in my yard, and right next to it, an evergreen tree. Under the evergreen, there’s a spot of no grass. No grass can grow there, of course, because of the thirty years of pine needles accumulated there.
So sometimes, I park the van there. It gives me free use of my whole turnaround, and the van is shaded.
The summons says “NO GRASS PARKING”.
Actually, it is impossible to see how the van is parked, from the street. So they had to tresspass to see.
What this comes down to, is some neighbor is being a cocktard. And this cumguzzling bureaucrat is anxious to harsh my mellow.
So I moved the van. I had this happen once before, I got a citation because I parked my truck in the yard while sealcoating my driveway.
I’ll be waiting for this bitch in hell. I may not be able to do anything to her…. yet. But my day will come.
Oh, by the way, the van has been in that spot for two years.
12 comments Og | Uncategorized
Pave your entire lawn. And paint it safety orange. With white crime scene body outlines.
Give me her name, please.
Walk on over to her yard with a bucket of fertilizer. Use the fertilizer to write messages such as “I’M A NOSY BITCH!” or “I SUCK BUMS OFF FOR BEER MONEY!” in her yard. Wait a week or two for the fertilizer to work, and watch your message come alive in brilliant green against the paler green of the rest of her lawn!
Dave, been there done that. Right after a rain, one person’s yard in the old neighborhood still proudly proclaims “C**T”
I don’t know the name of the neighbor. I only know the name of the idiot official who sent the citation.
Sounds like you just need to expand the turnaround to both sides of the driveway. Go pull a permit and see who complains, that’s the nosy bitch that ratted you out.
Geez, I hate busybody neighbors…
All good things come to those who wait. I expect this will be true for you as well. And when it happens “good hunting” (not that I am suggesting anything…just sayin’). Perhaps she just needs a good colonic.
Ahhh the good ol’ days of dirty tricks passed off as karma. My favorite is a navy issued dye marker in swimming pools.
Wreaks all kinds of nastiness…
What kind of totalitarian compound have you gotten yourself locked up in? That’s horeshit. Park wherever you want and tell ’em you’ll see ’em in court.
Make a few minor donations in bureucrap’s name to various organizations currently not in favor at city hall. Aryan Nation, NAMBLA, that sort of group. If you have traffic cameras locally get any fifteen year old to photoshop Bureaucrat’s license plate onto some photo grade paper, tape it to your plate and run half a dozen red lights.
If you find out the name of the bint harshing your mellow, buy her a subscription to a magazine sure to be at the bottom of her subscription list. Something which will get the attention of the feds would be a nice gift. Same with underworked bureaucrap, best delivered to his office.
I, too was once harassed by a low level city functionary. He is now even lower level.
Gerry N.
You guys are evil… I love it!
Never heard of a “no grass parking” ordinance. That’s some petty stuff. Strictly a money-making ordinance, for sure.
In certain areas, it makes sense. If you’re living in one of the places that seems to catch fire and burn down half a state every year, not having a red hot catalytic converter over a tinder dry pile of dead leaves/brush makes sense.
Where Og lives? Bullshit, pure and simple.