Chicago expressways this week
To ALMOST everyone driving a car in North America:
On the left of your steering column, between the steering wheel and the dashboard, there is a little stick thingy pointing to the left. No, don’t be alarmed, it won’t hurt you. Not the short one that adjusts the wheel, Mildred, the long one. Yes, got it?
IT’S CALLED A TURN SIGNAL. IT INDICATES TO OTHER PEOPLE THAT YOU ARE CHANGING DIRECTIONS, CHANGING LANES, OR OTHERWISE HAVE YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS. IT IS FAR EASIER TO USE IF YOU HAVE BOTH HANDS FREE, WHICH MEANS WITHOUT A CELLPHONE. YES, PEOPLE EVEN APPRECIATE IT IF YOU USE THEM IN PARKING LOTS.
In other news, an exhaustive search has turned up the last segment of the chicago expressways that isn’t currently under construction. A section nearly a mile long, near the O’hare Oasis is still coated with clear, untarnished asphalt.
I’d like to take this moment to thank the folks at the toll authority for giving us at least one area where we can dr.. what?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
10 comments Og | Uncategorized
[Start Klingon voice] TURN SIGNALS ARE FOR THE WEAK![/Klingon voice]
Hey, I *am* a Masshole…
[Start Klingon voice] UNUSED TURN SIGNALS ARE FOR THE SOON TO BE EXECUTED![/Klingon voice]
hehe!
Still: Out there, who could tell anyway?
I experienced these Chicago expressways.
Oh-my-God…
I would never leave my house if I had to drive on those things. Seriously… I hit Chicago by 5 on a Friday afternoon and had no idea how I was going to make it to the Broad’s.
C’mon, og… You’ve never driven in Boston, have you?
If you used a turn signal, you’d bring all traffic to a screeching halt – they’d all gather around it like the monkeys around the monolith in 2001: A Space Odyssey…
;)
I have driven in boston. And I love the looks on people’s faces when I signal for a turn. SOmetimes, I even roll down the window and use old fashioned hand signals.
Anarchist!
(Of course, Boston drivers are world-renowned for using hand signals. Although I strongly doubt we’re talking about the same ones…)
hehe!!
Told ya — once this Cline Ave./Ridge Road construction starts in earnest, it’s going to be fucking Ruby Ridge up in Chez Broad. I’m SO going to be landlocked.
Want I sould loan you some firepower, broad? you need a freezer you can fill up with supplies?
can someone tell me what the names of the expressways are? i.e. i think the 294 is the tri state. it would be helpful for an out of towner to know this when listening to traffic reports. what number is the ryan or the kennedy or the bishop ford. traffic reporters only give the names and most of the time i have no clue what highway they’re talking about.