No news
Went to mass yesterday morning with the Oglet to put in a good word for my friend Ken. Lit a candle.
And the woman in front of us farted constantly during the entire service.
“Lift up your hearts” phrrt. Pwatpwatpwat.
“we lift them up to the lord” phwwwwwwatt.
“”Lord Jesus Christ, you said to your apostles:” pwappppppffeww.
” ‘I leave you peace, my peace I give you.’ ” pappityapappittyeee.
The Oglet and I maintained our composure for the time it took to get to the truck.
And then we laughed our asses off.
And we dubbed the 22nd of July “Fart Wednesday”. If you can have fat tuesday, why not fart wednesday?
10 comments Og | Uncategorized
Forget the candle, just keep lighting matches. How did you retain your composure? I couldn’t have.
During the handshake of peace, did you pull her finger?
You are made of sterner stuff then I. Could have held off for one or two *toots*, but had there been someone else with me, sharing in the little musical medley being provided, it would have been all over but the crying.
As an aside, perhaps that is why they call em “pews”??
Yes, kemosabe. Fart in church, sit in own pew.
This is the kind of thing that convinces me God has a sense of humor.
Someone needs to tell the poor woman to save the heavy fiber breakfast for after church! (apparently, she wasn’t planning on going to communion.)
I take it they had no serious stink involved?
The daughter said it best: “I smell old people”
Take things as they come.
Littlest Alex keeps yelling at me, “Daddy Pootin'”.
I look at him and say, no, son, I’m not the Russian President.
Then Lisa looks at me as if and/or tells me I’m friggen’ insane.
I’m tellin’ ya… no respect.