Concerned about Swine Flu?
Don’t be. According to statistics, you’re much more likely to find a weak spot in the second floor, fall through the floor and the ceiling below it, land facefirst in the toilet, get your head wedged in and drown. You’re more likely to stand on a land mine and be flung 1200 feet up in the air, utterly unharmed, until being sucked into the jet engine of a 747 on approach. You’re much more likely to be standing next to a mountain in colorado, and be smothered by an avalanche of breasteses. You’re equally likely to be involuntarily anally probed in your kitchen by aliens. No, not them ones from outer space, them ones from south of the border.
Don’t sweat it, really. Even if you get it, unless you’re old or have a bad immune system, you’re just going to feel like crap for a while.
11 comments Og | Uncategorized
I need to get to Colorado more often.
I’m really thinking the swine flu is just another “Ooh! Shiny!” object for the press.
I like the colorado problem. How can I get that?
Nathan, I agree with you, but would take it one step further. The press is acting in tandem with the current administration, in the constant manufacturing/promotion of “crisis” in order to either:
A) Divert attention from the real substantive issues at hand.
B) To get as many folks as possible to “tune in”, thus insuring a continued/increased revenue flow from their advertisers.
C) Or both.
On the other hand a “Boobalanche” … the mind boggles at the various permeutations!!!
Damn… I really like boobs and had scheduled am trip to the Rockies in hopes of the avalanche thing.
And now you guys have peed all over my retirement plans.
I don’t have a spleen and I’m pushing 50. I’m so screwed.
Thanks for the uplifting news, Og.
Ha! I’m 65 and in pretty good health. I have a fool proof method of avoiding contracting the schwienes pflue.
I stopped bathing about three weeks ago and have no intention of doing it again until after Christ’s Mass. No one’s gonna want to get close enough for me to get anything from them but the finger. Except my ol pit-bull, Ozzy, and he doesn’t seem to notice that I stink any more than I notice if he does.
So far it’s working just as planned.
Gerry N.
Jerry, I got enough spleen for the both of us, don’t sweat it.
Does this mean Og has some ‘spleening to do??
*runs, ducks, and covers*
LOOOOSEEEEE!!!
Thanks, Og, for saying what I’ve been saying for months now. More people died last year of the “ordinary” seasonal flu than of the swinish variety.