Hell, I won’t even look at them unless they’re startlingly large. Give me a girl with a nice pair of hips and long legs, and I’m there. That’s always been my preference.

But once in a while, you see a pair of hoots that just… stand out. Such was the case, last night, as I stopped into the convenience store.

I mean, wow. They were bigger than her head, each of them, and she was clearly dressing to show them off. I am not remotely exaggerating when I say she could easily have concealed a full 1911 in there, and I was trying to determine if she was, when she said ‘Excuse me, my eyes are up here”.

I glanced, to make sure she was in fact correct on that point, and went back to what i was doing, and said “Yes, but they’re normal sized”. She snorted in disgust and gave me my change. Look, ladies, if you don’t want lecherous old men to stare at your tits once in a while, you might try covering, say, a minimum of 50% of them. These were pretty obviously more on the outside than the inside of her clothing, and it’s still a toss up in my mind as to whether they were on the inside trying to get out, or the outside trying to get in.