I have a few friends who own these unfortunate vehicles. I know they are economical, practical, durable workhorses, which will do any task asked of them; and do it utterly without style. I have often wondered why anyone would own one of these vehicles of legendary ugliness; then it dawned on me: It’s me. Ugly? Yes. Practical? yes. Durable? yes. Cheap to own? in spades. All this time I’ve been disparaging the Element (which element, I suspect as Click and Clack say, is probably Butt-Uglium) but in point of fact, it’s the car that most closely approximates me.

Good grief.