Last fall, in a moment of inattention that is extremely unusual for me, I drove off with one of your gas nozzles.

NO, actually, I didn’t drive OFF with it, I just pulled forward until I felt the breakaway joint breakaway, and stopped, cursing under my breath, and took the nozzle out and placed it on the ground.

Not being one to walk away from my mistakes, I went into the store to let them know, filled out the appropriate form, and went about my day.

Then, several months later, I get a bill for $72, for repairing the hose.

Now, let me splain something to you, lucy: When a guy “repairs” that hose, they take the two ends, push them together, and they “click”. As long as the seals are intact, whcih can be inspected visually, this is all that’s required. A strong eight year old boy can do it easily. As can a fit man in his eighties. Why it should cost $72 is beyond me, but that is inconsequential. You paid that, and I paid you.

Now, dozens of times in a month some fuckknuckle drives off with a hose at that specific store. Most of the time, they actually drive off with it, requiring you to install a NEW hose. That store has a policy of not hunting those people down, so the actual criminals, the ones who are doing you the most harm, go unpunished, while the people like me, who are honest and own up to their mistakes, have to pay the bill.

This, incidentally, is why there is no useful form of gun control; people who will follow the rules and obey the law are never the problem.

Anyway, I called and said to the obudsman at BP, and said, “I have been a loyal customer for at least ten years. Can’t we just overlook this moment of inattention on my part?” (not expecting anything, but hell, you gotta ask, right?) The extremely rude BP representative made it clear that not only was I going to “pay the $72, but you should consider yourself lucky BP doesn’t press charges”

Nice.

SO here’s some math for you, you asshats.

I buy around 40 gallons of gas a week. That’s around $90, at today’s prices. Times 52, $4680. Timesthe next 20 years? $93,600 Still, for a corporation like BP Amoco, chump change.

But, I convinced our corporation to drop the BP cards, and switch to Shell cards. So, there’s 128 employess, who average about the same gas usage, who will not be buying BP gas anymore. So, that $93,600 becomes $11,980,800 over the next twenty years, that you pissed away because you HAD TO HAVE that $72. Good for you. Choke on it.

Fucktards.