When i first started working at Inland, I was day labor for a few weeks before I began my machinist’s apprenticeship.

I pushed broom a lot, and cleaned a lot of showers. When they get a “new” kid, one of the things they often have him do is clean crappers, and at Inland, that was as distasteful a job as you can get. See, steelworkers are a rare breed at best, but their bathroom habits are, well, foul. They will see a clogged crapper and continue to use it until it’s filled to the rim.

The deal was to get a piece of pipe about four feet long, connect it to a hose, and hand it to the new kid. You then went off and connected the other end, not to a water outlet, but to a live steam valve. The kid was supposed to hold the pipe in the crapper, and when you turned on the steam, get covered with filth.

Well, I was wet behind the ears, but not THAT wet. I screwed a little ball valve between the pipe and the hose, and turned it off. When the crew leader didn’t hear me swearing, he came in and I feigned inexperience, poking and stirring the shit in the bowl. He looked at me, felt the hose to make sure the steam was on, then looked at the end of the pipe to make sure it wasn’t clogged. Then he looked at the end of the pipe i was holding, grabbed it from me, and said “there’s not supposed to be a valve on this!!!” Jammed it in the crapper and turned the valve on.

I managed to stand back just in time.

He stripped out of his clothes right there, and walked the half block to the showers naked but for his safety shoes.

He still had bits of toilet paper in his hair after the shower, so he just borrowed a razor and shaved his head. He had me transferred to a different crew after that.