The world is full of morons. God loves them, Mom said. He must, she figured, He made so many. What’s remarkable is the number of people who have no idea they’re morons. So, taking a cue from Jeff Foxworthy, here are a few simple ways to tell if you are a moron.

If you leave gasoline and matches just laying around the house, odds are, you’re a moron.
If you stand on a metal ladder in a thunderstorm and clean gutters, odds are, you’re a moron.
If you mix common household chemicals together, “just to see what happens”, you are probably a moron.

There’s one category that leaves no question, however;
If you leave a loaded weapon in an area where someone unqualified to use it can get to it, you are a moron. No question, no argument, none. You don’t know where all your firearms are and what their condition is and who has access to them, you are a bone feed mast fed moron from way back, and it’s a wonder you can remember to breathe on a regular basis. Do the world a favor and have yourself committed to someplace where you can be monitored.

There is no circumstance in the world where a loaded firearm should be available to anyone who is not intimately familiar with it’s operation and use, and qualified and permitted to use it. No situation where it is safe, ever. End. Of. Question.

I am AMAZED by the people who cannot figure this out.

I am amazed when the press reports “a fatal accident” involving firearms. There is NO SUCH THING AS A FIREARMS ACCIDENT. If someone uses a firearm to put a hole in someone else, you can follow the chain of events to lead to ONE OF TWO THINGS, Malice, or Stupidity. There is FIREARMS SAFETY, and there is STUPIDITY. If you follow the basic rules, there will never be an accident. Ever. That’s why there are RULES. If you don’t KNOW THEM, and intend to FOLLOW THEM, do NOT HAVE FIREARMS.

Sweet mother of GOD how difficult is this to understand.

No, you don’t have to have a $4000 gun safe to be safe; you can keep your guns in a closet and keep the bolts, or firing pins, or whatever else will disable them, in a small locker. You can keep firearms in Condition One as long as you know beyond any shadow of a doubt that everyone who knows of their existence is capable, trained, and prepared. They should still be in a locked or inaccesible area. Gun locks are free at most police departments.

This is the summer I have set aside to teach my child about firearms safety. It is the same age where I first walked beside my father afield with a shotgun. We will discuss the rifle she will shoot, we will discuss the rules, we will discuss the consequences of not following the rules. We will discuss these things until she knows them by rote. We will then go to the range. At that moment, the moment when she first puts a hole in a piece of paper, I will have gone full circle. At that moment, we will begin the cycle again.

She will not have access to the gun cabinet until she is 18. She will choose herself whether she wants to accompany me to the range, and how often. I will encourage her, but I will not force her. She will understand.

Most of all, she will know that Firearms safety is not an optional thing.