Barber Joe
has been my barber for several years now. he’s a great man with perfect hair and a beergut that makes me smile.
Today, waiting for my turn in the chair, I notice a picture on the wall. Barber Joe giving a guy an electric massage in a chair, while Christopher Walken looks on. Chris Walken was in barber school with my barber!!
In other news, I now have to wear safety glasses to clip my toenails, and only a well-sharpened pair of Klein tools high leverage dykes will do the job. yes, I’m old. Yea, I’m thirty years older then you are. Had my back broke once, and my hip twice. And on my worst day I could beat the hell out of you.
Except Dick, of course. I wouldn’t fuck with Dick on a bet.
10 comments Og | Uncategorized
Please…
I’m the biggest pussy ever.
Though that was extra cool about Walken.
innit? I’m trying to convince Barber Joe to let me have a copy of the picture.
I love Christopher Walken; love watching him!
I love Klein tools.
‘Scuse me…when I saw ‘high leverage dykes’ the first image that came to mind was Elena Kagen. Then it dawned on me that you were talking about diagonal cutters with long handles.
Chuck and Dick’s Barber Shop is located on a Mayberry-esk street between the Tennyson “True Value” Hardware and “Kyle’s Kitchen” diner.
Dick died some 20 years ago, lung cancer from smoking Lucky Strikes for 30 years caught up. Chuck fell and broke his hip this last February. He still hobbles in to greet his old clients. I am proud to count myself within that brotherhood. He has been cuttin’ my hair (at least what’s left of it these days) for some 25+ years.
The shop still smells of latent cigarette and cigar smoke, Brylcreem and that after shave tonic that only barbers keep on the mirrored shelf behind the pneumatic red naugahyde covered chairs.
Dog eared copies of “Outdoor Life”, “Hot Rod” and “Sports Illustrated” sit in the racks for those waiting their turn. And the REAL oldies station plays nothing recorded before 1960..or the baseball/football/basketball game.
Its a true time machine.
My dad had horrific toenails, thick as rhino feet. He said it was mostly due to having his feet run over by a milk wagon when he was a kid, and later from the fungal jungles of Panama.
We would have to leave the room while he was clipping away with the high-lev dykes to avoid shrapnel injuries.
I’ve got a couple of toenails like that. They’ve eaten a couple of pair of regular nail clippers apiece.
I had a good barber shop up the street, run by a couple of old Air Force vets. Man, that place was heaven. Model planes the gents had worked on, right next door to a bar, it was nice.
Then some asshole bought the bar and the barbershop, combined them into one building, and opened VanZandt’s, a bar and grill that tries oh so veddy hahd to be upscale and swanky. Yech. Ate there once, doubt I’ll go back.
And now Great Clips cuts my hair. Bah.
My dad had toenails like that until he started rubbing his feet every night with, I kid you not, Vicks Vap-O-Rub. Took care of the stank fungus and the monster toenails. Might be worth a shot.
What was that line from ‘Lion in Winter’? “My God, man, I’m the oldest man I know! I’ve got a decade on the Pope!”