Joanna is lamenting the fact that all the men she knows are into porn.

Having been a man these 50 years, and having hung around with men all 50 of those years, I can tell you in no uncertain terms, that all men are “into” porn. If they say they are not, they’re lying. If they are truly not, they are probably damaged somehow. Let me also be perfectly clear on this: A lot of men who engage in porn are severely damaged, too. The porn is occasionally a symptom of that damage, though rarely a cause. And some men engage in porn- or things like it, like bawdy ballads- because they are immature.

Now: Let’s define porn. That’s a tough definition, and here are some examples why:

I have a good friend who is an amateur photographer and is really beginning to show some signs of talent. I linked him to Oleg Volk’s site. Let me be clear on this subject: There is nothing Oleg shows on his site that could be remotely considered pornography, and the only valid description of what Oleg does is art, most of the time crossing the line into fine art.

This friend’s wife will no longer speak to me. Here’s the email she sent:

“I cannot believe you sent my husband that filth. I saw him looking at that, and he said it came from you, and I thought you were normal. Now I see what kind of sick, sick filth you spend your time looking at I’m afraid to be in the same room with you”

After she saw Oleg Volk’s site. Oleg Volk, people!!

I’m glad I didn’t send him the link about midget goat bukake.

the thing is, “porn” is different things to different people. And to men, it’s a remarkable variation between one extreme and the other. There are men who have become so jaded in their lives that only the most extreme of anything will do; most people would be sick to their stomach. There are also men that believe it to be unspeakably – and perhaps, unnecesarily- erotic for women to wear pants.

Porn,or the erotic component therof, is therefore, the thing that trips your trigger. For men, this is often visual, and the visual can be almost anything.

The Creator of the Universe in his infinite wisdom made women look a specific way. And men respond to that look like pavlovs dogs. The primary sexual characteristic of human females is the backside, and the extra fat that the Creator puts there, and the narrowness of the waist, is impossible for men to ignore.

Sure, men can train themselves to ignore it, but it’s not natural. Most men just train themselves not to be obvious about making their observations, and that’s enough.

Every man- every man- has that image that wakes up Mr Happy. Sometimes it’s an image in his head alone, sometimes it’s an image in a magazine, sometimes it’s unimagineably repulsive, sometimes it’s seemingly totally innocent. I know men who develop an instant erection at the mention of women’s underwear, I know a man who can’t get it up unless there are two women beating one another with extension cords standing in human excrement. I wish I was making that up.

I once had a woman tell me that “Kinky” means something that you, yourself, would never think of doing. I will take that further, and say that Pornography, at least in the pejorative sense, is that which you consider disgusting. One man’s porn, is another’s wholesome erotic image, and there are lines drawn everywhere. No normal man is immune, and no normal man doesn’t secretly or overtly indulge, from time to time, in something someone else will define as “porn”

Two of the most moral men I know have spent a good deal of time writing erotic stories, some of which cross all “normal” borders. I have seen it all. I have read it all. The things I consider to be erotic are beyond most people’s imagination, and would surprise everyone who knows me. The things i consider pornographic most people would never think twice about.

What Joanna is really talking about in her post and in comments is being treated like a lady. All women deserve to be treated like ladies, and that’s the way it is. You can disagreee, but you’re wrong. Even Nancy Pelosi deserves to be treated like a lady, right up to the minute where you…. nevermind. Being treated like a lady has nothing to do with porn, it has to do with class. A male who fails to respect his companion is not a man. And some of the wickedest perverts I know are the most gentlemanly.

I’m not making a case for porn or against it. This is just the way it is. The way Men are built, the way Women are built, we look at life through different filters. Mens filters occasionally have a picture of a midget fucking a moose painted right on them.

it isn’t a surprise to anyone that men and women are different. And those differences are vast- women, for instance, are more physically suited for polygamy- when a man gets his happy ending, he’s worthless for ages. When a woman gets to the same place, she can stay there for hours if she wants. A lot of people think this is because women are more emotionally likely to want to be with the same person; I think that’s bullshit.

I think women tend toward monogamy because men’s wobbly dangly bits are so fucking ugly that a woman can only bring herself to want to deal with one set at a time. But that’s just my opinion. I could be wrong.

Y’al excuse me while I go look at some pictures of pianos.