If I die anytime soon
it will be because of lawn mowing.
Each time I mow the backyard, I try to climb the rider further and further up the slope. Which has, several times, nearly resulted in rolling the mower. Then, when I’m finished, I drive the mower back up the hill, which is extremely dangerous as the mower is not meant to handle that slope. I get off the mower at the bottom of the hill, and put it in gear, and stand on the hitch on the way up so if it rolls I can get out of the way. Then, at the top of the hill, I hop over the seat and sit back down. The trouble is, there’s no floor on the tractor, nor even steps, but just a couple of pegs vaguely reminiscent of long bolts. OK, they are long bolts. And one day, I’m sure, I’ll slip and my leg will slide down under the mower and I’ll end up being towed along behind, twisted and broken in fact as well as attitude. The neighbors, thankfully, have grown used to my gymnastics, inappropriate and uncoordinated as they can be, even for a fat 50 year old man.
The bottom having been taken care of, I next concentrate on pushmowing the slope, nearly impossible under the best of circumstances, but I’m never the best of circumstances. You have to mow it laterally, so you are at right angles to the slope; mowing up and then down is murderously difficult. Even mowing laterally you have to push sort of uphill to keep the whole works from tipping over, and yesterday, it did. I’m pushing and one of the rear wheels falls into a groundhog hole, and the mower starts to tip, and i slip on the slope, and the mower is wrenched from my grasp. No biggie, it starts to die as soon as I let go of the deadmam- and then it FLIPS OVER, AND LANDS ON THE DEADMAN, AND KEEPS RUNNING.
Now I’m on a (literally) slippery slope, two feet uphill of an upside down running pushmower. This is no time to dance.
I carefully slide off to one side and get downhill of it, and lift it up so it stops. Which takes a pretty long time, but now that I have lifted the handle the tires have contacted the ground, and now I’M DOWNHILL OF A STILL TURNING LAWNMOWER WHICH IS NOW CHASING ME DOWNHILL.
Maybe I need a condo. yeah, that’s it.
39 comments Og | Uncategorized
I dunno – my attitude about safety used to be like yours, but there have been several bad things happen to people I know. One of my email buddies and dad to one of my buds had his sleeve caught in a PTO shaft. He was getting on in years, and infection killed him after having his arm amputated.
A kid that worked at the tire shop we frequent for our trucks was killed when a loader fell off the jacks and crushed him. He was killed immediately. He hadn’t bothered with jackstands.
Just yesterday a former classmate had a grain cart hitch fall on his leg above the ankle, crushing it badly. He was in eastern Colorado and they airlifted him to Denver. Tomorrow the doctors will determine the appropriate treatment – probably amputation.
My thinking certainly has been colored by the twelve plus hours of training I just had to go through for PEC/SafeLandUSA certification a week ago. Makes ya think, for sure.
I suspect I’ll be letting some of the more rugged features of my yard grow out – I’ve had to jump off the rider and set it back up a few times myself in the past.
Hate to hear of something similar happening to you.
Barkley turned up all happy dog for some reason, but a little unsteady on his feet. Then he had the uh. . / er. . runs.
Couldn’t figure out why. The yard was checked thoroughly for any things that could harm a pet. I don’t spray any chemicals in the fenced area. Ah ha! Seems I have an apple tree there in the back with the trees, and he went straight to it to munch up some of the apples, several which were fermenting.
I had to clean them up and now he’s sulking (Ma, revenuers tore down the still!).
My aunt lost a foot due to the lawnmower tumbling over on a slope and clipping her heel. Don’t mess around, man.
Kill the grass and plant a low maintenance ground cover.
Time to outsource the slope mowing.
Pave it. Paint it green.
Somehow I just can’t picture the Og household with an astroturf lawn like the Brady Bunch kids had.
A mansized weed eater can do the hill, probably faster than mowing. It sure beats risking life and limb.
Stephana: A weedeater just cuts the shit and lets it lie there. The mower mulches it up. Mowing is the only way, believe me, I’ve been here 10 years now and have tried literally every method.
Get a couple of goats.
Cut it one last time,put down a weed tarp, and get yourself a roll of the mulch made out of old tires….. cut to shape, nothing too obscene….
Not to worry Og. Only the good die young.
You have many more years to rant about stupid drivers, stupid mechanics and very stupid politicians.
Roger :- )
Thomas: the scrubby growth of grass is the only thing keeping my house from washing down the hill. I need to keep it reasonably healthy. Roger: You’re probably absolutely correct. If the good do, indeed die young, I will live to 143
Plug it with Zoysia, shit never grows tall, kills weeds and if you hate your neighbors it will take over their yard too…..
I’ve tried that, for whatever reason Zoy won’t grow there. Maybe the summer was too hot. Might have to try it again
I should say, it didn’t grow there. Don’t know that it won’t. I was probably doing it wrong.
they say that zoy’ needs lots o’ sun….. is the hill on a reverse slope? what about ivy/?
Yeah, reverse slope. Does get full sun during a lot of the day, and will more when I lose some of these nuisance trees.
I don’t want anything like ivy, because though it covers well it leaves bare dirt underneath. I worked hard, in fact, to kill that, I’ve already spent 10k to shore up the house where it was slipping down the hill. And terraced, and lots of other crap.
Two words: Crown. Vetch. It is your friend.
I grew up with a bombshelter in the back yard. It was mostly below grade sides but the earth was mounded well up over it, ‘ or 7′ high, with very steep slopes, 45 degrees or more. After my Dad, my big sister, me and my little brother had all had close calls (and way more than one each) mowing the thing, Mom gave up and planted crown vetch. Entirely worth it.
I still remember times I had to just let the mower go and plop myself down to keep from following. And that ol’ thing did not have a “deadman” switch; it kept right n roaring.
Problem is, this is about 1/4 acre. I have looked at all the groundcovers, and most look thick, but don’t hold on to the soil well enough to prevent erosion during Indiana rains. We have tried
Crown vetch
Vinca
Hosta
Juniper blanket
oh, lord, tons of others. They look nice, but when you lift their leaves, underneath there is bare dirt, and the rain readily washes it away.
Get a troy-built pull behind mower and use yer cushman to go up and down.
Alternatively, come see my new rider. Might be that it would do yer yard well.
You sir are a master of robotics. If Fanuc doesn’t make this, servo what you have with an r/c controller.
Post video.
At least when I had my tractor mishap I was safely (relatively) in the seat rather than having it chase me around like a mower version of Christine…..
I like the Kubotas. I always had my eyes on one of the older B6100 series. I wanted something big enough to put a loader on and a small backhoe, like a class 2 3 point backhoe. I’d say I’m jealous, but then I also don’t have your payment.
Goats. Only way to go. Course then you have four footed escape artists to contend with. At least it does not involve life an limb.
your story reminds me of the one about the two guys using a lawn mower to trim the hedge and one slips.
Glad you lived through another one, and heres hoping your luck holds.
screaming deal I did get. I can sell it for more than I paid this very instant.
And I most likely will, as it is a bit too small compared to what I am used to.
I was serious about the pull behind mower in the previous comment.
oh, and it has a loader….
At the bare fucking minimum, rig a REAL deadman switch with a pull out pin connected to a lanyard on you.
Rig a ground wire to the plug and interrupt it with a deadman switch of some sort.
When the rig gets away from you, the pin (Or even a magnet) pulls and the spark gets grounded.
Where’s the adventure in that?
Ok one last idea, how about landscape stone like those 8-12″ stone they use to keep culverts stable….
http://www.goldentreelandscaping.com/walls.html
about halfway down….
There are already 3500 of them in the slope.
Try the Flymo Hovering Lawnmower. They use them here on the State Capital grounds where there are steep hills next to the street:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9OOqCv6uWc
If the Flymo doesn’t work, give this a try:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oSdZur_rO1M#t=3m15s
I had a flymo. Without wheels to hold it in place it just “flys” down the hill.
No, having messed with this for ten years, I’m pretty much at the optimum level.
“Without wheels to hold it in place it just “flys†down the hill.”
Yeah. Great feature. We Rednecks could have some FUN with that.
3500,heh!!! jeeze Og does anything ever work out right for you?
Welcome to my world!
Great uncle flat hated armadillos, because the little bastards dug holes in the hayfields; twice damn near had a tractor roll over on him because he hit one he couldn’t see.
The real solution is to kill all of that grass and replace it with plants which never grow higher than 3″ or so. The lawn business is a racket. The people who sell grass seed are the same people who sell lawn mowers.
See comments about ground cover