it isn’t just teh ugly that infests rural illinois towns(and god, does it infest this place- there are some winners in this town, I tell you!) but teh stupid as well, the guy at Subway asked me “do you want it toasted?” I said “No thanks,” wherupon he threw it posthaste into the toaster.

Ah, well. Toasting doesn’t harm a spicy italian, but it doesn’t seem to help it much either. He then threw a double handful of lettuce on it before asking what I wanted on it. (Lettuce from subway seems to annoy my lap band more than any other food) I said “tomatoes and mayo” he proceeded to reach for the tomatoes when I said “Only tomatoes and mayo” he nodded in approval until I said “And no lettuce” he closed the sandwich and cut it in half and wrapped it before saying “wait- no lettuce?” “Correct. No lettuce”

He opened the sandwich and dumped the lettuce into the trough, using his knife to help scrape it out, and reapplied tomatoes and mayo. At least he tried, in the end. He kept repeating “Correct. Correct. Correct” quietly to himself as if he’d never heard anyone say anything other than “Ya”

The girl at the cash register was no better, but was at least pleasing to behold.