Ed has received his FOID card. And he’s acquired his handmedown collection of arms. And he’s about to go to the range. I hope I have the oppportunity to go with him, though the timing couldn’t be worse for me. He’s already plenty paranoid. Now he just needs to have the four rules tattooed on his wiener (guess he didn’t know about that part) and learn the secret handshake.

You have to ask Brigid where girls get the four rules tattooed.

Oh, and he’s gotta start knuckledragging and acting like a white trash red-stater, and knock out at least two teeth.