Nose hair was bad enough.
Now I’m getting stray hairs on my eyelids. No, not anywhere near the eyelashes, out in the middle of the lid. And they don’t look like any other hair I have, they look like something you yanked out of a Husky or a malamute.
Often wondered if my Romanian grandmother had something she shoulda told me.
Yesterday, new TSA rules took effect. If you don’t want to go through the scanner they will pat you down, which in this case actually means “Feel you up”.
I cannot WAIT till the first TSA guy reaches for the Nutsack of Doom. I would imagine I’ll be stripsearched the first couple of times, because nobody will believe that’s not a crown royal bag with a couple of hand grenades in it. I’m gonna decline the scanner JUST for that purpose.
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I would pay to send you by air anywhere you have a service call, I see .gov shuting down TSA three months tops…… now to go try and stab out my mind’s eye……
I think it’s freaky enough that some of my eyebrow hairs have decided to grow straight out at a 90 degree angle from my face. WTF? Eyelid hairs would have me running away from the mirror, screaming.
I think I’ll opt for the pat-down. Not because I have a giant nutsack, either. Though it would be amusing to see the screener’s reaction if I did…
I hope they don’t stand back pointing and laughing at that little bitty gold string hanging down in front of it.
So TSA really stands for “Testicle Sack Administration”?
Guy S wins the intarwebs!!!
Og;
I suggest that you make certian that the entire event is video recorded.
You’ll be able to sell off the rights to many comedy or porn comedy or just plain porn sites.
The bulging eyes and incredulous expressions will be immensely valuable to our video intensive marketing groups. Now what they might market is up for serious question.
Happy days and tender scrotum caresses to ya! (Choke gag!)
Roger
Roger, I wish I could insure the whole event was videotaped.
Christina: You know you can buy a tanned leather kangaroo scrotum, right? put a couple hardboiled eggs in there, and a good squirt of lotion to keep ’em moving around, and when the TSA guy grabs hold yell “ouch!”
The only way to improve upon that is to develop a massive whitehead (I don’t know how to conjure one, I just see them pop up spontaneously, though I bet someone has a system) for said TSA agent to accidentally pop when he gives the ole “hernia inspection” down there.
As horrible as all this nutsackery is, I was fine until I got to the massive whitehead in the comments. Thanks, mts1!
MTS: Use Gold Bond regularly. While it does a bangup job preventing jungle rot of the nads, it often causes nutsack zits- at least for me.
Since this insanity hasn’t reached the Land Borders yet, I prefer to avoid the Airport Travel thing and drive. And since the only country I have any chance of going to on my budget is Canada, I’ll just drive the truck, thank you very much.
That description was…. I’m feeling a mixture of emotions right about now lol.