Random fucktardiness.
The breakfast lady in the hotel, obsessively cleaning the entry door to the lobby:
“Big brass bar across the door. You’d think people would use it. Even says “PUSH” in letters two inches tall. So why do they always have to put their hands on the glass?”
Dunno lady, but I’m right with you. People are apparently four year olds at heart.
Lady at Walgreens, to customer on phone:
“Hello, thank you for calling your 24 hour Walgreens Pharmacy”
Customer:
“Are you open?”
Walgreens lady: “…….”
Ogwife used to get the same thing when she worked at Wally World, when she first moved to the US.
Local church still gets calls asking what time is Midnight Mass.
The more I deal with people’s disconnect with reality, the more I understand about why the world is a shithole.
12 comments Og | Uncategorized
I wish I’d read this post before I responded to another ano mouse this morning. Your last line fits him well.
When I first bought my house in IN I was getting ALL these calls, usually very late asking if I was open.
Huh? Turns out my phone number was one digit off from the super Wal Mart.
After a while I just started messing with them.
Hello? Why congratulations you are the 250,000 caller you’ve just won a week long trip to Dilbertastan! Please go see the store manager to claim your prize.
or
Hello? I’m SO sorry, we ARE closed. There was a beri beri outbreak in the produce section.
Back in my pizzeria managing days, we would have the occasional caller asking
“How large is your 12 inch pizza?” Given the fact, most of the time it was a male caller, I guess there may have been some justification for the call, but if they had used a “real ruller” vice the makeshift one between their legs, the phone call would not have been needed.
http://www.notalwaysright.com
I visit that site every day to remind me that I’m not alone in this crazy world, and I LOL and LOL and LOL …
“What time is the 2:00 tour?”
“In the afternoon”, I replied.
I don’t push the bar. That is where everyone else puts their greasy hands and I don’t want their filth on my hands. If the bar is brass and clean, I feel bad about smudging it and causeing the cleaning lady to come back and re-polish it. Though I must also admit I am hesitant to touch glass too. Had one break. This is what doormen and automated doors are for.
I almost always use my forearm to open push doors. Partly because my wrist tends to go “sproing” if I push on it; partly because it feels like I’m fighting with the building. “Take that!” *does flying elbow drop on the fire exit*
Midnight Mass doesn’t have to start at midnight. Even the Pope had his start early (10 pm I think).
Midnight mass starts at midnight. The Holy Father begins mass with a benediction.
Every fucktard I know has 3 or 4 children. I have one. Obumble is POTUS. Any questions
Exactly, Hunter. We’re seeing the genesis of the Marching Morons.
Idiocracy was/is a documentary film.