Knock first.
In my hotel, last thursday, i was reclining on the bed watching TV, and nodded off. It was about ten, I usually go to work around eleven. I had a little time to snooze.
I had told the concierge that my desk chair was broken early that morning (When getting breakfast).
So about ten thirty I was woken to the sound of Abjit wheeling a new chair into my room.
Me: “um, hello?”
Abjit: “Oh, I am SO sorry!” taking the chair and splitting.
See, I was naked as a jaybird, laying on the top of the bed, having just recently showered.
I imagine he’s cleaning his eyeballs with 40 grit and a D/A sander even still.
Knock, people. Really.
10 comments Og | Uncategorized
Use the deadbolt. Really.
Your hotel staff will appreciate it.
Trust me. I have a LOT of experience.
I specifically don’t use the deadbolt because of an experience I had with a colleague back in the 90’s.
See, Dieter (not his real name) had not met the rest of us for breakfast.
he was absent at the morning’s staff meetings, too.
So when they got the handyman to pry open the door and use bolt cutters to chop off the swing hasp, the crowd hanging around was all to anxious to see what had happened.
What had happened, was that Dieter had had a grabber in the midst of rubbing one out to Spanktravision.
If I’m gonna do that, I want to to be just a story the housekeeper tells to her girlfriend. I don’t want the entire hotel staff to stagger in the room and see me laying there, knuckles glazed, skin blue, bed shat.
Trust me, they’ll all still come and see your glorious carcass
Now, since everyone has a cell phone with a camera, you’ll be internet fodder for years.
If yer gonna expire, and want to do it with no fanfare of viewing of the aftermath, DON’T DO IT IN ANY SORT OF LODGING ESTABLISHMENT.
YMMV
nice.
So you’re saying that Dieter sprung his Sprockets while touching his monkey?
Indeed.
I was spared the spectacle, thankfully.
I’ll bet money Mr. Abjit has learned his lesson. That is, if he isn’t forced to commit suicide as the only way to bleachify his brain.
BTW, they’ve got a cool spatula-fork-thingy to pop that swing-hasp without breaking it, so it barely slows ’em down anymore.
I worked hotel maintenance for 10 months or so in my misspent yoot, and I can guarantee that croaking that way would simply be hotel staff entertainment hour.
The one that sticks out in my head is the two guys that checked in together and left shitty cocksmears ALL OVER the room. I could give a rats ass what two consenting adults do, but wiping your crap crusted dick on the lampshades?!?!? If you turned on one of those CSI blacklight wands your retinas would burn out from the UV glow….
“Dieter had had a grabber in the midst of rubbing one out to Spanktravision”
Oh how I wish I could write like that.
:o
Sorry, just a little shocked. No knocking?