Christianity for Dummies
I know I’ll be preaching to the choir on this but I have to get it out of my head and onto paper.
I am not a biblical scholar nor a theologian by profession, but that is where my roots were. Only accident and opportunity steered me in other directions, but once a theology geek, always a theology geek.
So here goes. This is a perhaps over simplistic approach, but it will hopefully illuminate.
Think of Christianity as a tree.
At the base of Christianity is Judaism. Judaism is the soil in which Christianity is planted. The rootstock is Jesus Christ.
The Church, in those early days, was a fragile tree; the leadership of Peter and the early popes was a difficult thing, likely to get you imprisoned or killed. Because the Popes were humans, dumbassery occurred. Because early Christians were humans, Dumbassery occurred. Each episode of dumbassery damaged the tree, and some of the damage took a while to heal over.
Let’s talk for a minute about the substance of the tree.
Christianity is not the pope, it’s not the priests, it’s not their doctrine or dogma or the ten commandments or the bible. Christianity, after all, does not exist in the physical world. Christianity is a concept that exists outside the people who practice it. Christianity is a way of behaving, based on the teachings of and actions of Jesus Christ. Christians are practitioners of Christianity.
Christianity is organized into The Church. The Church consists of the people. From the very beginning it was JUST ‘The Church” As the Church grew, it began to branch, and the first of these brances was the Schism, in 1054.
Now think of the tree as having a large trunk, with a fork to the east and another to the west. They are both firm and strong, and both ideologically well connected to the rootstock.
Other branchings occur. Luther branches off, Calvin. They branch away from the main trunk and head off some distance before again travelling skyward. The rootstock is always Jesus Christ, though the case can be made that many have been cut from the original and grafted onto other, more mundane rootstock. The fact is, that many who split away did so not becase- like Luther- they found fault with the Church, or Christianity, but because they had specific personal ambition. and that ambition was often worldly, and not otherworldly.
Even the worst of those offshoot churches, though, are capable of producing decent Christians. No matter how fucked up a leader is, his followers might just become decent people. I’m particularly fond of the Eastern Church, because they have held firmly to the traditions of the old Church, and they show no sign of changing anytime soon. I also like Mormons a lot, not for their practice of their religion, because that is cultish and weird, but for the fact that they tend to be decent people- the kind of example Christians should be watching carefully, and following.
As an RC, I like the Church in Rome, of course, and as that is the part of the tree closest to the rootstock, I feel it is the very closest connection to the Creator. The Vatican has a history of nastiness, and of corruption, and that is a source of some real contention among the religious. The bottomline is this: What some people have done in the name of Christianity has sullied the whole church in the mind of many people.
Those people are morons.
If you use a glock to commit a crime, that does not make all the people who own Glocks criminals. If you use a car to break the law, it does not make all drivers criminals. If someone does something evil under the umbrella of Christianity, it does not make Christians evil. If you don’t get this, you need some remedial training in reason. If you will overlook the actions of criminals compared with non criminals but paint all Christians with the same bloodstained brush because of the actions of Pope Boniface VIII or the creepy priest you knew in grade school, that is hypocrisy, pure and simple, and if you’re capable of that level of hypocrisy you don’t have any business commenting on the morality of others. Because someone calls themself a Christian, doesn’t make them a Christian. It is behavior that makes you a Christian. Bad behavior is inconsistent with Christianity. Anytime anyone accuses the Church, or it’s members of (Insert your favorite pecadillo here) they are missing the whole point: Un-christian behavior is not done by Christians.
Being a Christian is like walking down the median of a highway. You can wander off onto the pavement, you can even drift off onto the shoulder, or into the cornfield adjacent. But only on the Median are you On the Median. You can’t say you’re on the median when you’re laying in a field of cowpies; Only by following the path of Christianity are you actually a Christian; when you deviate from it, you are not acting as a Christian should act.
Trust me: I know from deviating. I am capable of some remarkably un-Christian behavior.
The good news is, we have the option of Forgiveness. When we stray as Christians, we can bring ourselves back to the Path.
Pitiably, when one person strays, there are those who are anxious to condemn ALL Christians for that straying. Don’t pay any attention to them; I don’t, because I understand they have a bucketload of their own problems. All I can do is to pray for them. And occasionally beat them senseless. See? Straying from Christianity again.
There seems to be a large contingent of self righteous assholes the further you get from the rootstock, as if the distance from the dirt makes the individual less humble. At some point, those people become what I think of as leaves. They break from the whole program, and fall to the ground. They left. Updated to add, the rest of the tree is evergreen, like a spruce, or maybe a live oak. So long as the leaves stay attached to the main, they never die.
No doubt I’ll beat this horse more as time goes on.
18 comments Og | Uncategorized

Thank you.
A pretty good conceptual model.
Nice. I like the way you boiled it down into simple parts.
pretty good sample. left out wesley, but that is ok as he is a branch of luther.
i would add each christian as a leaf. other than the annual motif of death and renewal. or maybe work that in some how. RC is closest to paul other than not reading the bible directly at the parishinor level.
It is hard to keep the serfs in line once they know some of the truth.
Good writing as alway Og.
Nice work, and I thank you. Does it have anything to do with this quote?
‎”If this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn’t help the poor, either we have to pretend that Jesus was just as selfish as we are, or we’ve got to acknowledge that He commanded us to love the poor and serve the needy without condition, and then admit that we just don’t want to do it.” – Stephen T. Colbert
With regard to your comment about punishing dumassery with physical violence: Allow me to refer you to John 2 vs.15&16.
If the man I call Savior, Lord and Friend will demonstrate physical violence and anger while whipping some righteous ass (literally), then that’s a good enough example for me. Be careful on this one, though. If your perception of a righteous ass whipping doesn’t align with the MANâ€S, you’ll never forget the mistake!!
Now let’s look at Matthew 23 vs. 32&33: That’s some pretty harsh language our Lord is using there. Some liken it to calling a fella a son of a bitch to his face. That block of scripture, taken in context, is a guy spoiling for a fight. Plain and simple. Jesus Christ is a man’s man. Acting like a man is not a sin.
No wonder you can’t find any men in church today. TPTB have emasculated a Man that can tear your heart out with grief with just a disapproving glance. Despite His awesome power, he bore the brunt of all our mistakes. Our Sins…..
Good, please continue to thrash the dead hoss all you want. I like it.
“Does it have anything to do with this quote?”
No, not at all.
What that quote is about, is Colbert’s way of saying “This is not a Christian nation, because I want to do what I want to do without moral people to tell me it’s wrong. And if we are a Christian nation, that means I, and people like me, get to steal money from those who work for it and give it to people who support me, and the people I steal from can’t say a thing about it.”
Colbert, who in the afterlife will be used by Satan as a condom with which Satan will sodomize Nancy Pelosi, wouldn’t know what Christianity was if you jammed it in his big ears and pulled it through his head like mental floss.
Christianity is about doing what is right because it is right. Colbert wishes to use Christianity as a weapon to force Christians to do what HE thinks is right.
Boy, don’t think I’d quote Colbert as an expert on anything.
“Christianity is about doing what is right because it is right. ”
yea… many times doing what is right is not necessarily the best for you personally.
” I am capable of some remarkably un-Christian behavior. ”
Me too, Og.
Nice Essay. Thanks.
Great post. Please carry on.
In reference to the Colbert quote: If this is going to be a Christian nation, then the Christians will help the poor.
Does Colbert want the government to force the people to “be Christians” and force them to give to the poor?
It makes it easy for this Christian. Instead of having God in my heart to help the poor, I can kick back and let someone else do the giving (by taking from me).
problem is, it’s not the poor that Colbert and his ilk are interested in helping, at all. It’s creating an entitlement class to suckle at the teat of the hardworking that Colbert and the clones desire.
He is a libtard. It isn’t hard to shoot holes in what he says. And it isn’t hard to shoot holes in his real agenda that he thinks is so clandestine.
Not hard for you, me, and people with more than a malformed brain stem.
“Give a man a fish you feed him for a day, teach a man to fish you feed him for a lifetime”
Colbert and his ilk are theives of fish. They have no idea how to fish themselves, so they steal them from those who toil for their meals, give them away, and call it kindness.
They want an underclass below them so they can place their expensive shoes on their backs and imagine themselves better than their fellow man. All the while convincing those receiving the fish that the reason THEY didn’t have the fish in the first place is that the greedy fishermen who row out to sea and break their backs all day were catching them all, preventing them from magically appearing in their laps.
They want to regulate and control how you can fish, and when you are allowed to fish, tax your boat, impose restrictions on your nets, and then blame the poor catch on you. How dare you fish! You greedy bastards!
And to break from the picine theme, they want to keep the underclass they created as ignorant as possible, so when they say “Let them eat cake” the folks holding out their hands to their masters say “Yaaay! Cake!!! Cake is AWESOME!! HooHooHooHooo Fuck yeah! CAKE!!”
Those of us who are teachers of fishing know that people like Colbert are best cut up for stink bait :)
Oohrah, Grau!
Good one, Grau.
I don’t think Stephen Colbert would even make good stink bait. How about we just throw his whole carcass in the lake and see what happens?