Outside my hotel window
someone is using a dumpster like a drum, apparently smacking it with a hammer. It makes the most annoying sound. I wish they would die, die die. I want to go back to sleep and get a little nap in before I have to go have another year of joy drained from my soul.
My dr suggests that I might want to set aside sometime soon to have a louisville slugger jammed up my keister. colonoscopy. Partner suggests that if i can combine this procedure with acupuncture and a strong light, I could be a planetarium.
Why do they call it a planetarium when it predominantly displays stars?
Damned dumpster hammering idiot. LET ME SLEEP, YOU FUCK!!!
12 comments Og | Uncategorized
The colonoscopy is not so bad, it’s the prep that’s a rolling bitch on wheels.
Don’t be so evolved! Caveman up! Just bend the hell out of the probe with your steel buttocks and fart it out.
Alas, Nathan’s right. The preparation is what pissed me off. The procedure itself was a breeze. Good luck nevertheless!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qa-QUaqUN3w
I bet your neighbors would pay good money to see you charge out of your door buck naked, swinging a crowbar at the hammer wielder and screaming a Rebel Yell.
By prep, let’s be clear to the uninitiated that we’re talking about the jug of “washout”.
My doctor had changed a prescription for me that seemed not to be working as well.
After the ‘scopy, he told me why. He found them undissolved, stuck to the lining of my colon.
You know, if they did a colonoscopy on the Kenyan in Chief, they’d find Chris Matthew’s lips up there somewhere.
As for the dumpster drummer, it’s a pity you don’t have an M-80 laying around to toss in there while he’s not looking.
Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX
Drummer= pellet gun?
I think Dave Barry has a word or two for you about the Procedure:
http://www.miamiherald.com/2009/02/11/427603/dave-barry-a-journey-into-my-colon.html
I like the part where he thinks that Seatbelts should be required on toilets after drinking the Moviprep which helps you clear your bowels.
Anyhoo… enjoy the ride! :)
Been beat to it: the procedure was nothing, the evening/night before absolutely sucked.
I think what I told the doc after was that if she ever again recommended one, the answer would be ‘Hell no’, unless “or you’ll die” was appended to the suggestion. In which case I’d think about it.
I’m not so concerned about that. Shitting, afterall, is a hobby of mine.