Crapblogging
Ok, so everyone, at one time or another, looks at the cable they just laid. As hunters can tell the state, location, direction and speed of their quarry by the scat, so you can tell a lot about yourself by the state of your stool.
So today, I stand and turn back, and there’s black in the stool. I think, shit, I’m bleeding. Black tarry stools are an indication of intestinal bleeding. No, it’s not that, it’s like, what, olives? Shit, I haven’t eaten any olives in weeks. Wait… those are BLUEBERRIES. I ate blueberries for lunch. Less than two hours ago. I ate my sandwich, a handful of carrots, a couple pickles, and a baggie of blueberries. I ate the blueberries last, and they’re already out of my system. How can I not be a twig, if food won’t stay in me any longer than that?
That explains everything Og. You are not a twig because you are a finch!
Yes, a finch! An avian! A fine feathered friend!
If I remember my Professor Kitzel cartoons, a finch has a metabolism that is so fast, he can eat seeds, extract the nutrients and excrete the remainder 5 minutes later.
:)
Jim
That’s an impressive digestive system there, og…
FWIW, that’s why I put corn in my chili – I can track just how fast my body processes the chili after I indulge… (I make my chili with habaneros…)
Hence the expression “Tracking Corn”, which I think would make a fine name for an alternative band…
You can produce a very entertaining Medley o’ Rainbow Stools by varying your diet:
Beets: Red. Kinda scary, actually.
Spinach (by the carload): Green. What else?
Pepto Bismol: Black.
TCBY Rainbow Yogurt: Green. Green enough to color the bowl water, even.
Of course, me giving advice to the King of the Shitbloggers is a little like teaching Grandma to suck eggs. O Og, I am not worthy!
A SUBJECT NEAR AND DEAR TO OUR HEARTS
Well, maybe not hearts, per se.
Og, the resident genius at Neanderpundit, is one of the best Stoolbloggers out there. He is not afraid to tackle the deep subjects, the ones that we all think about but seldom articulate so well…
a liter of coke-a-cola will move everything along about as quickly as those berries. combine the two and you may not be quick enough to get from the table to the pot.