I HATE that phrase, and when playing buzzword bingo I always use my fountain pen to wet the square with that one in until it tears out of the paper.

But here’s a classic case of it.

Not too horribly long ago, if you needed to have some body work done to your car, there were any number of small body shops that could take care of you. Our best local guy was a slight Japanese man named Kenny Hirata, but there were a thousand shops, because Auto Body is more art than skill, and everyone thought they could do it. Mostly, everyone was wrong, at least at first, but eventually even the teenage kid who hung a shingle in front of his mother’s garage and filled her washing machine with bondo dust got to the point where he could do an acceptable paint job. You went down to the Auto parts store, and the guy there mixed the lacquer or enamel based on the VIN number of your car, and hopefully got it right, and voila! Your drivers door looked almost like it did before, and that run will buff right out, come see me in a month.

The Ogwife used to be a mixer/delivery girl for one of the better local paint suppliers, a place that’s been in business a hundred years (Literally!).

Alas, no more. Dick White has retired. Hank Van Dyke as well, though his son still shoots the occasional car. I don’t think any of trhe local shops I remember have painted a car themselves in years. The hoardes of roaming alcoholic pinstripers with their little box of freakishly long brushes and the pile of Ed Roth pinstripe pictures in the trunk have faded into the past. (Kenny Hirata’s son, incidentally, is still laying down color)

Now, the Corporate culture has taken over, and if you want your insurance claim handled by a local shop instead of one of the conglomerate nationwide shops, you’re gonna have to pay out of pocket and get reimbursed, and good luck trying that.

The very NEXT thing will be robotic systems. Most cars are now single-robot painted, and shops are already springing up that use robotic paint, the mix is done literally at the nozzle of the gun and the bot uses the paint program from the factory, so that the exact amount and color of paint is laid down in exactly the way it was done at the factory when the car was new. Of course, that won’t help your 57 chevy, but hey.

Hopefully I never have the need, anytime soon, to take my car to CARS collision center, but if I ever do, I’m sure they’ll do a fine job, but it’s a loss, to me. Like the difference between the local pharmacist and CVS.

One way or another, if i hear that blasted “Driving in my car beep beep” Gerber Collision and Glass commercial again anytime soon, I’m gonna hurt someone.