Loss
IN part, because of this post I’m thinking about the ways you lose those near to you.
If there’s anything that’s certain, we all know we will lose those near to us, and it’s as if nobody realizes this until the moment of truth, so to speak.
When I was six, I looked at my dad, looked at the pain that encompassed his life- he’d had so many injuries in his life, so many illnesses, by the time I was six, I was in tune with his mortality. He died when I was twenty-seven. It hurt, but I was not surprised by it. Fact of the matter is, I was a tiny bit surprised he’d lasted as long as he had.
Hoosierboy talks about lkosing his daughter to the big world. About having her move away, slowly, first leaving for college then spending more and more time away until finally she’s on her own. I have that future to consider as well. My own daughter will someday be doing the same thing.
We know those moments in our life are coming, but we don’t prepare ourselves for them.
I see those moments, like MuaDib.
I look at my daughter and see her packing her clothes, books, putting her stereo in her car, driving off with stuffed animals in the back window. I see myself standing in her empty room looking at bare walls, crying.
I see the people I love, see the paths they take, see the mistakes they make, see the trouble ahead, try to warn, get ignored, then show up to pick up pieces.
I see too many things. I work hard not to have these visions because they are rarely incorrect. The more painful of them, I once tried to murder with alcohol or drugs, but there was never any point. Painful memories become hardwired, while the face of your child, beaming with joy at her first accomplishment, you have to take a picture.
Yesterday, while I was in Omaha, the wife took Patches to the vet, and while there, patch tried to bite both frances and the vet. They ended up putting her down.
This was exactly the outcome I had tried to prevent, but the inner vision had told me no, long ago.
Saturday we’ll collect the body at the vet, and place her in a deep grave at the end of my backyard, under a big walnut she particularly liked.
May the Indiana soil lie gently on her bones.

I am truly sorry for your loss.
Thank you for the kind words. The crazy cycle of life really is true, I am sure my parents felt the same way.
Good stuff again, og.
(‘Course, geek that I am, I knew instantly what you meant about Mua’dib.)
I also know what you mean, if that makes sense. I get it in flashes, like a snapshot of the future in my mind. Watching my son go off to Jr. High. His graduation. My daughter’s prom. Moving them into their college dorms. Giving my daughter away…
It’s coming. And the way things are going along at warp speed, it’ll only be an eyeblink or two from now.
The only thing we can do is seize the day. Enjoy it RIGHT NOW. No regrets. No “we’ll do that later”. Do it NOW. Have fun NOW. Love your kids NOW. Tell them you love them every single day.
Thanks for the link. That was an excellent paean to “daddy’s little girl”… :)
And og, I am sorry about your loss as well. As you know from Ricky’s post, it seems to be a sad theme…
I know how you feel, Og. The older I get, the more I have to say goodby. I’m sorry about Patches, I’ve had border collie mixes off and on all my life and loved every one of them.
Take care.
JD
Og, my condolences. May God comfort you.
That’s life, Og. To love is to grant hostages to destiny. The only option is to live an empty life of numbness, on option you have wisely discarded.
Gotta go — my 6 year old wants me to watch football with her!
Aw, no, Ogger. I’m so sorry it had to happen.
Y’all must be crushed.