So I stop at Badonkin Donettes for my morning coffee. While I’m there I think I’ll try one of the sausage croissants. So I order, a Number Four, with double cream.

I get the coffee and the guy hands me the little paper bag.

I get halfway to the end of the drive through, and sip the coffee. And nearly spit it all over the car. I look at the side, and it has “8 creme 8 sugar” written on it. It’s disgustingly sweet. In the bag there were twelve more creams and sugars.

I threw the whole thing in the garbage, and went inside.

I explained carefully to the woman at the counter. “I want a number four. I want to make the coffee a large. I want double cream in it. ” SHe takes my money. She pours a small coffee, puts a big dollop of cream in it, and four splendas. She hands me a bag. It contains a bran muffin.

I sigh and ask for a manager.

She comes over, looking for all the world like Clara Peller.

“I’d like a number four. I want the coffee large. I want two creams in it. NO SUGAR. ”

She eventually gets me a sausage croissant. She holds up the cup of black coffee and repeats: Just two creams, no sugar, right?”

Finally.

I like their coffee. It’s consistent. I’m damned if I’m gonna go through THAT again.