Neanderpundit

Wednesday 22 Jun 2011

The phrases for the day

15 comments Og | Uncategorized

15 Responses to “The phrases for the day”

1. on 22 Jun 2011 at 9:44 am   Midwest Chick
   
   

   My morning commute:

   WHAT in gods name are you doing?–Check

   WHY are you doing it so slowly?–Check

   HOW on earth did you get in front of me?–Check

   Mine are usually interspersed with language not fit for public viewing though.

2. on 22 Jun 2011 at 10:13 am   Og
   
   

   Yeah, sometimes I have to make up my own expletives, having worn out the usual suspects.

3. on 22 Jun 2011 at 10:33 am   GuardDuck
   
   

   In what order do your synapses have to misfire for you to think that was a good idea?

4. on 22 Jun 2011 at 10:39 am   Og
   
   

   That’s a good one, Duck, I’ll have to add that to the list.

5. on 22 Jun 2011 at 11:03 am   Joanna
   
   

   My personal favorite is “Dammit, just pull up another six inches so the line of cars behind you can make a right on red! It’s legal in this state! I promise!”

   Somewhat related: The central intersection on my college campus had a scramble light — every two or so cycles, all lights would go red and you could cross through on the diagonal. There was a loud chirp to signal the scramble, and it was always patently obvious what was going on. I remember one father/daughter pair carefully crossing one side during a scramble, then waiting and GLARING at everyone in the center. WHY WEREN’T THEY FOLLOWING THE TRAFFIC RULES? WHY WEREN’T THEY WAITING THEIR TURN AND CROSSING IN THE CROSSWALKS? HOW DARE THOSE HEDONISTIC STUDENTS CUT THROUGH THE CENTER? It still makes me LOL.

6. on 22 Jun 2011 at 11:40 am   Professor Hale
   
   

   TURN SIGNALS, PEOPLE!

   Don’t worry, I won’t advocate a law forcing people to use them.

7. on 22 Jun 2011 at 11:51 am   Mark D
   
   

   I commute via public transportation every day, here are a few of mine:

   “Put down the electronic device and WALK!” (to people who stop walking when their phone rings or decide to change the song on their iPod)

   “We walk on the right here d*ckhead!” (self explanatory)

   “Pull your head out of your a$$ and pay attention to what you’re doing?” (Said when someone steps out of a revolving door and stops, leaving me the choice of pushing him out of the way or getting hit by the door)

   Or the one that’s good for a variety of occasions:

   “You can roll your IQ on a pair of DICE!”

8. on 22 Jun 2011 at 11:51 am   BobG
   
   

   9 times out of 10, when I get stuck behind that person, it is some celltard yapping away at their phone and paying no attention to their driving.

9. on 22 Jun 2011 at 1:28 pm   Nathan
   
   

   RIDE to the RIGHT. WALK to the LEFT.

   — The rule for the escalators on the Washington Metro.

10. on 22 Jun 2011 at 1:56 pm   Pascal Fervor
    
    

    Long before there were cells phones I noticed how many people would delay moving more than a second after the light turned green, even after someone honked them. Today it’s even intolerably worse given the increase in movement dependent left-turn arrows.

    I’m pretty sure cell phones and texting now contribute to the delays, but back before the age of cell phones, I had another explanation. I figured they were sitting at the light with one thumb in their mouth and the other stuck in their nether regions, and it at the signal it took them extra time to swap thumbs.

11. on 22 Jun 2011 at 1:59 pm   Roger
    
    

    Sign on the back of my fathers motor home:

    I might be slow,
    but
    I’m ahead of you.

    That motor home must have pissed off
    people from NJ to California and back.

12. on 22 Jun 2011 at 4:34 pm   Sigivald
    
    

    My standard is “where the HELL did you people learn to operate a motor vehicle?”

    (The implied answer is that they did not, in fact, learn it in the first place.

    Or “Canada”.)

13. on 22 Jun 2011 at 5:04 pm   Bruce H.
    
    

    The evidence indicates that many of my fellow motorists aren’t actually trying to get anywhere, just driving around looking at the scenery.

14. on 22 Jun 2011 at 7:42 pm   og
    
    

    Bruce, you may be onto something. A great number of my fellow travellors seem to be actively avoiding a destination of any kind.

15. on 22 Jun 2011 at 8:23 pm   Nathan
    
    

    What Pascal said.

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