An open letter to my kidneys
You guys are the best. You help regulate my blood pressure, filter waste products from my bloodstream, yadda yadda yadda. All in all, you do a fine job, and I am most appreciative. Really.
One teensy thing, though: Could you maybe wait until the alarm goes off at 6:00 before you fill the bladder? 5:15 is a bad time. Really. When you make me get out of bed at that time, it just hoses up my whole fucking day, ok? And it isn’t like i haven’t tried. I mean, if I drink a little before I go to bed, it’s 5:15. If I drink a lot before I go to bed, it’s 5:15. if I drink nothing for four hours before bedtime and wring the last drops of urine out of my bladder, it’s 5:15. Always juuuuust enough time to get back to bed, and drift off to sound sleep agai.. BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
Be sure to let us know if that works. If it does, my guys are gonna get a similar missive. Perhaps not so politely phrased, tho.
One word: Depends.
Just sayin’ is all…
I am being forced to come to the reluctant conclusion that I had better just get up and get going when the bladder does its 20-minutes-early thing than try to go back to sleep and be blared awake by the alarm and start the day in worse shape than had I not stubbornly refused to get started.
I haven’t quite gotten there, yet, but it’s coming on.
M
Me too, M. I figure I’ll ease myself into it over the next ten years.
Very funny.
Unfortunately, that’ll get worse!
Thanks. I appreciate the vote of confidence.
On the upside, I now sell systems to a manufacturer of “ducks”
Well, you could always keep a jar by the bed …
And then there are those dreams where I think I wet the bed and wake up in terror … still dry! whew!