No, the post will not be about Matt Damon or Bill Clinton.

Fact is, anyone who has ever- you know- done something, understands that the correct tools make a difference.

Let me step back a moment here to point out that without the use of Average Joe’s kindly lent tools, I would not so easily have assembled my AR. Thanks, Joe, we got to get back to the range again, soon. That sunday burning ammo through your SMLE was awesome.

back to the point again: Proper tools.

Type 1 tools that are made to do a specific job. You can pull an engine with a swingset and a cable hoist, but a cherry picker is usually a better choice. You can tighten a 9/16 bolt with a pair of pliers but a box wrench or socket is the proper tool. There are tools that are made to do a specific job and when you do that job, you do it most efficiently using that tool.

Type 2 tools are very good at a specific job almost by accident. My aunt used to use her old portable dishwasher to clean her cars hubcaps and all the heat registers in the house. The best brass tumbler I ever saw was made from a cement mixer. The powerhead from chainsaws has been used for everything from weedwhackers to concrete saws to the power for hydraulic ‘jaws of life”. The Miata, originally designed as a barbie car and transportation for effeminate shoe salesmen and Radio Shack employees has become common in SCCA racing. Type 2 tools were not designed for the purpose to which they are used, and they may not always be the very best tool, but like the Miata, are easily adapted to the new purpose. This doesn’t make them the best for that job, mind you, just the most common.

Type 3 tools are tools for which there is no use, until the tool is made. Impossible! you say. Who develops a tool without a task?
(Cough)Ipod. Ipad. Nope, nobody would do THAT. The Taurus Judge is a tool waiting for a task, and if someone starts a competitin class where you are required to alternate a 45 long colt slug with an actual 410 shotshell, the Judge and the Governor will dominate, and the beretta 92 will, of course, not.

Whether you use type 1 or 2 or 3 tools depends on the job you have to do. And you have to judge for yourself the efficacy of the tool you choose.

Tons of people were buying firearms over the weekend. Cabelas had lines of people waiting to fill out thier 73’s

look: The firearm is a great tool if you’re gonna wound or kill someone, but as much as you might want to, that’s not gonna be the answer to the existing problems, and as we have already seen, voting is as useful as farting into the wind.

No, the solution, the way out, the wedge you can use to get your freedom back is the thing that allows you to know you’re in the shit in the first place. Your brain. Every waking moment of every day you should be out there thinking of ways to make your elected oficials lives a living hell.

David Paymer, in Oceans 13, plays a guy whose every moment is plagued by inconveniences. From the moment he checks in until he leaves, he’s assaulted by smells, insects, chemicals, intestinal issues, one problem after another, all designed to keep him from actually enjoying his stay at the hotel which he has been sent to review. He gets a happy ending, of course, but the point is that there were tons of little things the crew did to him that made him nearly insane.

Anyone who has ever used itching powder (Do you know what that is? it’s hair, cut extremely short. Save your razor cuttings and you have itching powder) or planted a handfful of dope seeds in a public officials office windowbox, or put Krazy Glue in someone’s KY jelly tube knows how to get to someone. And each person has specific irritatability.

If you’re smart enough to figure out that we are in the shit, you have a big enough brain to determine the iritability of someone, and exploit it. There’s no need to ever do anything illegal or immoral, even. Just find that button, and push it, until the idiot in question cannot WAIT to leave.