Crunchy
Lots of shit going on around here, so bear with me as I get my poop grouped. Lots of things to blog about, just no time to blog Sorry about the utter lack of content.
In the meantime, chew on this:
it’s a stove grate. it s the type of stove grate that comes on a Kenmore, and ours had four. Twenty years ago next week, the ex picked all four off the stove in the kitchen and whipped them across the room at me like ninja stars, sticking one in my chair, two in the wall, and one in my left calf. Not wanting to see her arrested, I pulled it out, made sure it hadn’t severed anything important, and bandaged it up. The precipitant for this behavior, was my completely unreasonable request that her boyfriend get out of the shower where she was giving him a hummer when i got home from work. I’ve had the blues, the reds and the pinks; all I can say is,
love stinks.
Fortunately, I’ve had the opportunity to replace the ex with a person who would never throw stove grates at me; she’s a fine woman I don’t deserve.
This came to mind because down the street is a stove very similar to the one I used to share with my ex. I wonder if the guy who pushed it to the curb would mind if I went down and grabbed a grate or two, did a little target practice in my yard.
10 comments Og | Uncategorized
Ouch. Here’s hoping you’ve learned to dodge flying metal, or at least have a suit of full body armor available for emergencies.
maybe a little police action would have helped in the following proceedings.
Mental note: Og’s psycho bitches trump Jay’s psycho bitches hands down. Mine just called incessantly and stalked me for months… None ever tried to kill me with cookware…
(Hmmm. There was that one girl that came at me with a pair of scissors…)
Hmm. Love those twist openers.
Me, I’d have to say my Kenmore stove is 20 years old.
But… (as Dolly says with a Valley girl drawl) WHAT. Everrr.
M
Well, maybe it’s a good thing I’m not married after all. Sounds like the only thing that sucks more than not being married is being married to the wrong woman.
Will, with that kind of wisdom you should be writing a men’s advice column. Had I known 20 years ago what I know now about getting hitched, I would have gotten another dog instead.
Ham, it’s likely the dog would just bite you.
73
Lordy, Og! Now I know why Congress passed the Stove Grate Reform Bill some years back. Our stove from the mid-90s is smooth-edged, all spokes inside.
nah, I get along fine with four-legged critters. It’s the two-legged kind, especially the female variety, that vex me.
73 to you as well, de (callsign redacted to protect the guilty)
thank you