Neanderpundit

Saturday 21 Apr 2012

Heaving on a jet plane

7 comments Og | Uncategorized

7 Responses to “Heaving on a jet plane”

1. on 21 Apr 2012 at 7:08 am   Randy Rager
   
   

   Remember to put the potato in the FRONT of your drawers, Og.

2. on 21 Apr 2012 at 7:15 am   Og
   
   

   It would get lost in the folds of my nutsack.

3. on 21 Apr 2012 at 9:48 am   BobG
   
   

   A bowl of chili before going might be interesting.

4. on 21 Apr 2012 at 10:01 am   Bubblehead Les
   
   

   Wife just came back from a Vacation with her Siblings in Fla. She had to go through Akron-Canton, Atlanta, Ft. Meyers and Charlotte, NC. She discovered that the way to have Fun was, if she had several Hours to go while being stuck Backstage at the Security Theater, she decided to make the Thugs earn their Paycheck. So she would take the Pat-Down, but she INSISTED on a Women, so they’d have to get some Broad to put down her copy of Vogue and come out of the Lounge. She also refused to check anything, and when she got to the Checkpoint, why, they had to open up EVERYTHING, thus making more work for the Smucks. BTW, when she’d get to the Departure Gates, they would say “Oh, No Room, we’ll have to do Gate Check-in (even though her Bag fit in the Sizing Frame), and there was NO BAG FEES. Plus, since her Bag was “Last On, First Off”, her bag was at the Carousels ahead of everyone else’s.

   But if she was short on the Connection Time, she’d just use the Total Recall Body Scanner.

   Oh, and Avoid Delta. NO one was Manning the Counters in half the Airports she was at; they make you use some Computer Kiosk to get your Ticket; the Program was stuck in a Loop that acknowledged she was Booked and allowed to Fly, but wasn’t allowed to get her Ticket w/o paying for it (funny since it was Pre-Paid). She had to call Expedia TWICE to force Delta to release their paperwork. She said if anyone showed up to the Kiosk, and had large amounts of Luggae to Check, a Drone would come out, call the Name of the Passengers, tag the bags, charge them the Fees (Credit card ONLY!), then disappear. And when she’d enter the Delta Wing, they had NO Departure and Arrival Signs at all! In fact, they had NO Restaurants, Food Stands, etc in any of their Wings. Just a Long Empty Corridor. Staff would come out about 10 minutes before the Plane was to take off, check everyone aboard, then Disappear. She said on the U.S. Air legs of the Flights, there was Live Bodies always available, Food Stands And Restaurants, Dep/Arriv signs, etc.

   Hope this helps anyone who has to Fly soon.

5. on 21 Apr 2012 at 10:54 am   emdfl
   
   

   Better then that, put a couple of quarters in EVERY pocket you have and then take them out one pocket at a time as you fail the metal detector test. Ball point pens made out of metal work well also.

6. on 21 Apr 2012 at 12:36 pm   Giraffe
   
   

   I hope I never have reason to fly.

7. on 22 Apr 2012 at 11:02 am   Fiona
   
   

   I hope you document your obstacle course Og. Wouldn’t want to fly to the US now, but I think your perspective would be entertaining/enlightening/educational :D

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