i am amused.
They made me scan three times. The happy ending lane was full.
The third time, the tsa guy said “the screener asks if you wouldnt mind not wiggling your dick”
I didnt the third time and went right through. Couldnt resist a little twitch near the end, though.
They confiscated a womans tweezers. They let me keep my 4′ long belt with the 2 lb buckle on the end. Apparently they dont consider it a close quarters weapon. They obviously never met Dad.
10 comments Og | Uncategorized
When did you begin passing along your thinking to Fairey Hardcastle? STFU on the last paragraph. :)
Last time I got scanned twice and swabbed for explosives.
A belt with a heavy buckle? Obviously none of those idiots ever saw someone using a dum-dum.
It’s not about safety, of course. It’s about degradation. As in, I dropped out of school in the sixth grade and I’m feeling up your fine ass. Or, in your case, my Midnight Cowboy, The Scrote.
Like the ‘testing for explosives’ where they picked out my shampoo bottle and ran a swab around the lid. Oooooh, Security Work!
I’m waiting for someone to sneak some radiation testing stuff into(or just show up with a warrant or something) the We See You Naked machines. I get the feeling the results will not be amusing to people.
I want to figure out what kind of paint will block the scanners so I can have one of my few friends with artistic talent draw on me to make the screen look like I have an alien in my torso pulling levers and I have gears and pulleys running through my entire body.
I’m dead serious. It would totally be worth the cavity search.
I’ve got two artificial knees and half a fish plate in my L. wrist. Ya orter see the Taking Scissors Away nitwits go all apeshite when I go through the scanner. Next time I fly, I’m wearing a Speedo and stripping down to that when I get to the line. Just imagining that picture makes me throw up a little in my mouth.
Mr. Og Sir, I do not normally laugh out loud this early in the morning. It’s seems unnatural.
Today, that has changed.
Now…. how do I suck coffee out of the laptop?
Flying out of Richmond a couple of months ago, I got the full pornoscan plus a left-sided patdown from chest down to ankle. They said they ‘reported seeing something’ on that side and wanted to check. All the metal in my body is from the right hip down, aside from the portacath under my left clavicle. They swabbed my hands and portable oxygen concentrator, along with oxygen hose, for ‘residue’ as well.
Yes, I was wearing a kilt. If he’d been another inch or two over during the patdown, he’d have been snakebit.
Magnificent reading, especially if read out loud lol