I’m sure I’ll get lambasted for this, but jesus christ on a crutch, who on earth thinks that any chicago team will go the distance? it kills me that ordinary, perfectly sane people will lose their fucking minds over this, like Spoons did last year about the Cubs.

Look, folks, it’s Chicago. Be happy you have some winning teams. The possibility of the Cubs or the Sox going all the way is as likely as me wearing lederhosen and learning to play the alpenhorn, and being given a government grant to do so.

Understand: I have no interest in any sports. Pro athelets are for the most part overpaid underworked primadonnas who love having their dicks sucked for playing a game. They’re playing a game, for christ sakes. I understand if you want to play the game yourself, but to spend cash or wast time watching someone else play a game, in my mind, defines stupidity. I can kind of understand something competitive like auto racing, and I never miss an Indy 500, but that’s about as far as it goes. I’d still rather drive than watch someone else do it.

So if you decide to piss in my cornflakes because I’m here to tell you that the sox are gonna choke and fuck this up, well, sorry. I don’t understand it, and I never will. And rest assured, I’m right. if I’m not, I will post a picture of myself wearing lederhosen on this site.

What a bunch of fucktards.