Alright, you monkeys.
the Onramp on the expressway is specifically designed to allow you to accelerate to speed, and merge with traffic.
Now I know from the Obama stickers on your prius that you’re trying very hard to obey your master and use no more fuel than is required, but I know one household who own a pair of priii, and they are capable of proper acceleration while still maintaining reasonable fuel economy.
One way or another, the Onramp is not intended for you to get to the top and STOP, causing all four drivers behind you to slam on their brakes. Then wait for all the traffic to disapear clear back to Ohio. Then pull out slowly so that the people behind you can crawl up to speed while dodging semis and other cars and trucks screaming by at seventy.
Several people nearly got their asses smeared all over the freeway because of you today, you cocksocket. I hope when the day comes that you push it over the edge, you get yours, slowly and painfully, with a broken neck so you lie in a hospital bed unable to move for years while the orderlies rent your limp body out to their diseased, hideous friends and you develop tertiary syphilis which slowly eats your brain until you actually begin to enjoy the ministrations of the perverse and disgusting, up to the moment when your diseased nether regions are so distasteful that some slimy fat horndog skullfucks you making you choke to death on his tube steak.
20 comments Og | Uncategorized
Damn, Og. Stop holding it in and tell us how you REALLY feel! :D
They probably come from Pennsylvania, where the ramps are so short in many places that they really do have STOP signs at the end of them…
(Not that I’m excusing them. This ain’t Pennsylvania.)
Sounds much like the moron in the Lexus I got stuck behind yesterday: LONG ramp, on which said moron managed to get all the way up to 50 by the time he reached the highway… ah well, at least he didn’t slow down when he got there.
I sometimes think that “for the good of the gene pool” should be a valid defence when charged with DumbFuckicide.
[Og] “I *had* to kill her, your honor. She’d stopped her Prius at the top of the on-ramp for no earthly reason.”
[Judge] “Case dismissed. Why was this even brought to trial?”
[Defence counsel] “We believe it is because the deceased was the arresting officer’s neice, your honor.”
[Judge] “I find the officer in contempt! Bailiff, whack his pee-pee!”
Don’t sugar coat it
*sniff* Now that was just POETRY *sniff*
Who,us’n?
Ayup.
Someday people might learn that you don’t merge into freeway traffic by slowing down…
One of the few rules I try to pass on to my tour clients: When merging, if the guy behind you has to brake, YOU are doing it wrong.
Hunter
Alaska
Twatwaffles like that are not limited to Prius. They drive all kinds.
Here in the Pacific Northwet, the ijits seem to prefer cream colored Volvo station wagons. I wonder sometimes if there’s a small incendiary device available that’s stable until deployed and will stick to a car body. Some clever guy is just waiting to become both very wealthy and worshipped if he can get one on the market. The twatwaffles are why I drive a ’92 F150 with a ratty old camper, the entire thing lavishly decorated with rust, dents, algae and slug tracks. One look at my redneck limousine and the dipshits and old ladies of both sexes seem to feel more comfortable driving in the median strip or the roadside ditch. Bless their wizened lil’ hearts.
If the car had an Obama sticker, the brain eating syphilis would have nothing to eat.
Freeway on-ramps are the only legal place where you can use all the horsepower under the hood, and as such, if you use the same on-ramp every day, you ought to be able to check on your car’s state of tuning just by planting your right foot and counting the seconds.
This is actually a traffic offense, “impeding the flow of traffic” here in OR, and yes, I did write tickets for it during my po-po career.
Wish you were here now, dog!
I’ve got one, getting onto the bridge to cross the Ohio (not the one that’s been in the news, but the one that looks like it belongs out front of a McDonald’s).
It’s a 270-degree loop that drops incoming traffic into the left lane. In a slot where, though the posted limit is 55, people routinely go through at 70-plus. With restricted visibility. It takes about three seconds to get from the throat of the slot down to where the ramp merges in — and the lane ends in about fifty feet.
Idiots slow down and/or stop at the bottom of that one all the time — causing the speed demons coming down the slot to swerve rightward into the other lane to avoid them.
In all fairness, it’s a really badly-engineered interchange. It should never have been sited there. But that’s one of the fundamental problems of the whole Autobahn concept in the first place: it attempts to stamp-press inorganic designs onto landscapes and cityscapes that can’t accept them.
Sort of like liberalism in that regard.
M
First, “cocksocket” is an awesome word, new to me.
Second, there should be, as scott notes, another entrant to the, “for the good of the gene pool” defense: Women who drive BMWs. Just. . . kill them before they kill us all as they come to a full stop before turning right (no blinker, naturally) off a 55 mph service road.
This problem is endemic in North CA. Mostly Asians, with some Latinos thrown in. Normally, you can tell what they intend, because they aren’t really accelerating down the typically looong merge ramps.
What these idiots intend to do is drive across to the fast lane, at nearly a right angle, and then cruise below the limit once there.
This, of course, requires a big gap in all lanes for them, which is the reason they stop at the merge point.
They pretty much reverse the process when they arrive at their exit. At the last moment, they will dive across all lanes of traffic, and then slow down BEFORE they reach the exit ramp.
Why the concept of “merging” is lacking in these drivers is puzzling. I suspect they are applying lessons learned or observed in their original country, depending on their age. Frankly, it’s the most charitable thing I can think of, regarding their lack of applied brainpower.
Which brings up a related question: Why do most people stop observing/learning a skillset once they become somewhat capable, or think they have?
Og,
I see I have a thing or two to learn from you about language… magnificent!