I have had more than my share, and a powerful lot of them have come out of stupidity, or boldness. I have been in more than one situation where someone took offense to what I’ve said, and frankly, I don’t care. I say what I want to whomever I want, and I hold my tongue when I feel it appropriate, not by anyone else’s rules.

This has resulted in a few hard smacks (Which I always find amusing) and more than one attempt to rearrange the shape of my face by people determined to do so at any cost.

As a result of this, my nose is no longer located in the middle of my face, but a solid skosh to the left. If you were to draw a line from the center of my foirehead to the center of my chin, the nose would be predominantly on the side of the line to your right- or my left. This is due to the action of a gentleman with a mean and fast left hook, who disputed my opinion of his beloved sporting team. At least that’s what he said; having zero interest in team sports I cannot imagine doing so, but as a natural born shit disturber, it would not surprise me had I done so just to get him riled up. it worked.

There are other scars and injuries, everytime I stand to walk I’m reminded of one fistfight or another, a guy with a barstool in Bloomington, a guy with a machete in Nogales. But I can still stand upright and walk without too much limp, which is in itself a miracle (The first few steps after standing are often stiff, but that’s another issue) but I’ve never let my mouth write a check that my ass didn’t at least try to cash.