Some calls ’em old people, some calls ’em bluehairs
the Oglet calls ’em “Frosted flakes”
I’m partial to “Bluehaired Road Lice” or ‘Bluehaired road parasites” but “Frosted Flakes” is beginning to grow on me.
13 comments Og | Uncategorized
Monday 18 Jun 2012
I’m partial to calling the little old ladies who only show white-hair & knuckles at the steering wheel “Q-tips”.
You will seem them flocking to the local DAR or Elks lodges. Beware if they get into a migration pattern as they can bring 8 lanes to a stand still.
When looking at them from the rear, all you can see are multicolored babushka wrapped orbs located behind the wheel… we call them “Easter Eggs”
Layoff the old men though…they were tank, half-track, jeep and Higgins boat drivers. They can drive however the F@#K they want, they’ve earned it.
Fact is, I usually don’t see the old men driving, only the old broads.
Heading down to Blue Hair Haven, er, Florida, this weekend myself…
Ah. Florida. God’s Waiting Room.
I like Frosted Flakes. I call ’em Dandelions.
There’s Frosted Flakes of all ages.
Og, you and the Oglet must have met my Sainted Mother in Law. Worst. Driver. On. The. Planet.
Just after I married her daughter, MOL asked me to look at her car and find out why it wasn’t going as fast as it used to. A: No oil showed on dipstick. B: No fluid showed on Xmission dipstick, C: Same-o same-o power steering reservoir, brake reservoir. But. The main reason was she had pulled so hard on the parking brake handle because the foot brake didn’t work (no brake fluid) she had jammed it hard on and broken the release. She drove that poor car to Canukistan from Seattle that way twice. The rear wheel locked up and the U-Joint failed in central Oregon about two weeks later. The OR. State Patrol cited her for eight maintainance violations including no brakes, and unsufficient tread on the tires. (Cord was exposed) They would not allow her to continue driving her car on OR roads. This was in 1969. That car, or it’s parts, is still in OR as far as I know and MOL has been dead for six years. Actually “Q-Tip” is a pretty good name for drivers like her. Her mechanical IQ was approximately that of a Q-tip.
I forgot. Her driving philosophy was that 20 MPH was breakneck speed under any conditions, and 2nd gear was fast enough.
20 mph is breakneck speed if you’re limited to the parking brake (or less) for stopping.
I got dragged out to a bar by my copilot years back down in Florida, Kareoke night. I can’t sing, but after 2 shots of whiskey it didn’t stop me from getting up and singing, to the tune of Willie Nelson “Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain”, the Brigid version which was “Blue Hairs Driving in my Lane”.
It wasn’t pretty but it was a crowd favorite.
Bridgid — thanks for the LOL. I needed that :)