Millenium Hand and Shrimp
There’s this guy. I’ll call him… dave. Mostly because his name is… dave.
He used to work where I work. Dave was a serviceman. Or ostensibly so. See, he wasn’t very good at it, at least not in for any value of “Good” I know.
His defining characteristic was his eye-watering B.O. He could walk in the shipping door in the back of the building, and the receptionist, all the way in the front, would remark “Dave’s here”.
He left some years back. I expect he found other things to do, his hobbies were encompassing and expensive- photography, scuba, etc.. He always drove a big caddie, untl his stock of photo equipment became so large that he had to buy a van, then he got a huge tricked out custom stabbin cabin on wheels. Dave’s hair looked exactly like Bug Eyed Earl’s. Dave would have had to have an implant to have the personality of Bug Eyed Earl. He was married, apparently to a normal person. I never met that particular abberation, I don’t know what I’d say. Probably something like “You have sex with that freak?”
Last tuesday as I left the show I found myself smelling a familiar smell, and sure enough, here came Dave, wheeling a giant tripod with a case full of (I assume) video equipment.
I was a bit boggled. He smelled exactly the same. he looked a bit older, a bit heavierl But he smelled like ever.
bugrit.
Knowing another man by his smell is just scary. One would hope someone somewhere thought enough of the guy to clue him into soap and water.
I used to work in a factory and I think a few of the guys there thought Saturday night baths were enough.
Phew.
Bonus points for the Pratchett reference
When I was in the Navy I used to work a guy we nicknamed The Onion, because he smelled so bad it made your eyes water.
You know you must smell when the guys you need to hotrack with will sacrifice sleep to avoid getting stuck with ‘the stinky rack’.
The sad part is, he showered! We saw him! He just had some evil body chemisty issues that the folks at Right Guard hadn’t figured out how to deal with.
Some folks just have BO no matter how often they shower. I worked with a guy who actually would eat handfuls of garlic, because the aroma of garlic coming out of his pores would nullify his natural body odor, which was rather pungent at the best of times.
I’ve heard a number of people say how body odor like that is a sign of liver disease. Maybe his liver is good enough to let him live, but bad enough to cause the odor. But what do I know. When you’re eating garlic to make yourself smell better, I’d be seeing a physician at that point.