I remember when we first got cable, back in the pre-columbian era, we had 6 broadcast channels. 2, 5, 7, 9, 11, and 32. Oh, you could get Channel 50 or 26b if your antenna was pointed right, but that involved- for us- climbing on the roof with a wrench, as we didn’t have a rotator.

When we got cable, it had several DOZEN channels.

Of course, we continued to watch the same ones, plus the occasional glimpse of half naked sweaty broads on Metromedia/Orions “20 minute workout” and when Sci Fi came along, we watched it religiously. (Amazing how colorblind those people were to their target audience. The hardcore fans called it SF, relegating “SciFi” to be used to represent Gojira and it’s ilk. ) But we had more choices, so that was OK, right? And then the cable bill started to creep up. From the $6.85 I once paid for “Basic cable” (Plus the cost of equipment rental) my Dish network bill was, last month I paid it, $88.

And I used it to watch “Top Gear”. Sometimes ‘Dirty Jobs”

Both those series are available in HD on the internet, and frankly, we just got sick of writing that check each month.

So I went out and bought an antenna, and assembled it, and got one of those converter boxes. Hell, they had all the old shit- Bonanza, Get Smart, Branded- all the comfort TV from my youth. So I like it just fine. Plus Julia Child cooking wiht a barely postpubescent Jacques Pepin- Man, that little surrender monkey could cook!

I had all this shit on my desk, for the longest damned time, so now it’s cooled some I figured I’d climb into the attic.

I had to make a post for the antenna to sit on- it says “indoor outdoor” on the antenna but it’s so cheap I figured a good stiff breeze would destroy it, and I don’t need special reception, just regular TV so I can watch the news if i want. I took a piece of conduit and flattened one end, drilled a couple holes in it, and screwed it to the antenna.

The attic is of course fiberglass and I wanted to try to keep as much of it out of my skin as I can, so I put on a dispozable hazmat suit.

I had to have a belt to hang all the shit on, so I put a belt on over the hazmat, clipped the LED trouble light to it with a carabiner, as well as the drill and the cable, and climbed the attic steps up. I felt like Arne Saknussem. The steps creaked and roaned under my weight, and the weight of all the shit I carried with me, but I have regular TV now. Plus a netflix scrip and a Roku.

I couldn’t be more pleased, I got to tell you. And not having to write that $88 check each month tickles me shitless.